shitsmile

2011-01-02T21:26:00.005+08:00

First things first. I REMEMBERED MY PASSWORD! thanks to the Angels of Memory, my memory did not give up on me. HAHAHA. Second thing, this blog was dead and IS dead to the whole community. woa. I guess certain circumstances led me to neglect my online diary to the extent that I even forgot about it. dayumm. its been long. real long. the previous post made me realise how long its been. and the pain..lets not talk about it.

With Facebook comes the death of blogging! hhaha. Blog-hopping was pointless!! Either people moved their blogs or just stopped blogging altogether! Shyt. Probably im the only ass that continued to write in this thing called online diary. And its not even totally private but I assume it is but yet who cares. Chet. I guess as we grow older, life will slowly eat you up until you rot and die. WAHAHAHAA. Life dont even give up enough time to blog. omggg sad man. Give me 3 months and i'll probably stop this blogging thing altogether.

2 months max. okgo.

Ironic. How this post is the total turning point of the previous one.

01.01.2011

A date now having to be remembered and cherished, hopefully for many happy years to come. He had me stumped, speechless, shocked and in tears. If you were to ask me, "whats so special about him??" i would honestly tell you..i dont know. Probably I do? But I cannot seem to put a finger on it. Hmm.

Backtrack 5 years from now, no way in hell would I have thought I would fall madly in love with someone. Especially someone like him. Hell NO.

With him coming back, I've unconsciously taken careful baby steps and not making us fall back to what we were before. Hey, every girl has to take some sort of precaution in the love department, don't we? Dear, truth time. I feel more secure. Still abit jumpy and scared like SHIT if they find out about me though. But we'll leave that to the One above. Now im wondering whether I should let him know! Dammit!

So the New Year is heree! so what? ALOT THATS WHAT!

Remisniscing back on the one oh, big hoo-haa was my dearest sister, Alia. She got married to Jean. Happy..yet a sad moment for us. Especially my mom. I got a job working full-time at Eneos Italsing Pte. Ltd. Shit occurred the first few months I worked there, but the colleagues I have? Beautiful people. Never could I have asked for better ones. Graduated. Other chapters too. Happy and sad. Especially sad. Thats Life.

Hows my 2011 so far? Its going good. More like; wonderful.

Only thing I'm sooo not looking forward to is turning 21!

p.s. ; I love you the most!!

2010-04-08T20:46:00.003+08:00

If I am still your friend...

My joy feels so painfully wrong. Even to laugh or smile. Remembering the yesteryears of being unattached and careless are long gone. Nothing feels the same anymore. Is it wrong to feel hatred for you when all you did was tell the truth to prevent any more pain? I didnt feel any pain before this though. Maybe its me. Forgetting everything would turn me into some hideous egoist. But it's not your fault though. You did what was best for us. I hope. Im still hoping.

Are you sad? Crying? Looking at your phone each time first thing you wake up and before you get your night's sleep. What are you thinking? I wish I knew. But that weakling of the memories won't venture further; ultimately afraid of the answer.

You drop me, I feel misled. Then you wanted back, it was confusion from there. One question; thats all it took to break apart, for the second blow. I didnt even mean for that question to lead to the end. What irks me is I cannot hate you. Hate you for making me cry and yearn. Instead I would equally forgive you for the number of sorry's you have said. Still confused here. What you are sorry for. I feel it was me to begin with, and I don't know why I feel that way. Will you care if I got cuts on my hands again? Or if Im tired and aching from long journeys? Would you listen to my complaints and woes for that day? You'll just want to end the message like Im some kind of ... disease. Though messages from you changes me totally. A little spark of joy from a tunnel of darkness. Even for a little while. Its always been that way for me since then. What about you?

Confusion still lingers. Getting over it is difficult if confusion lingers. Still dont get it..
At times maybe I feel that I dont want to get it.

Probably its the differences. Our different little worlds just decided to collide and pass by. Say hello and goodbye. I dont know whats real and whats not. I dont even know what am I doing stuck at work anymore. Two reasons that does not link to make sense. But fret not,still hoping, hoping you'll stay happy, even in someone else's arms.

I know you love privacy. Doubting anyone would be reading this blog, even you. So its safe, beautiful.

2010-04-04T20:05:00.003+08:00

Resistance

"The night has reached his end
We can't pretend
We must run
We must run
It's time to run"I could still smell you; it lingers on my leather bag,
I could still feel you; when i touch my neck,
I could still hear you; when i hide under the covers,
I could still taste you; whenever i go to your favourite fast food restaurant..

I could still find a way to make it without you.

Considering the not-so-many-good dreams that I have been getting lately, with that said, not even enough sleep, I suddenly want that one dream to come back to me, badly. The one where I run and run and just fly up through the beautiful green trees, over the oceans and into the clouds. It was a dream that I had many, many years ago and it made me feel .. free and happy. This dream did come back. Sometimes on consecutive nights. I'd wake up, smiling and feeling confident that I could achieve anything and everything I want in this world.
I guess growing up and facing the harsh reality of the society and life has burst my safe bubble.

Ok back to reality. Before, I didn't know what in the friggin world I was doing stuck in this rathole of a course and doing nothing at all that interests me in the least (I guess He is fair cause of all the wonderful friends that came along with it). Yet now, it all seems so clear. Ok maybe my mind may not be that clear yet but it will when its counterpart heals (so what else is new?).

Ahh dreams, family, friends and yea, love. Its a fight till the end. Till you can't fight no more. Which I assume will be the day you die. Yes, die. Family comes first, no doubt. They are the ones that'll protect your ass when its getting in hot soup. Friends? They'll probably cant protect your ass that much, but they will be your oxygen tank when you cannot breathe cause your ass is scalding and hurting you. Dreams? Well, I guess our many little aspirations and goals makes you stop pushing yourself into hot soup further and stop living altogether. That wills you to go on further and make your ass look fineee and back in shape bebeh. Love? Hmm. Love love lovee. Whats family, friends and dreams without love? Nothing really. Whats love without sharing it with someone special? Meaningless I guess.

Who am I kidding here.

Hoping won't make it all come back.

2010-03-25T00:16:00.003+08:00

Memory Lane.It is so f*cking difficult to please everyone.

It gets even worse when all you can really do is deal with it all from the comfort of your home.

So you are probably wondering; all I do is sit at home and do nothing but watch teevee, eat, sleep, clean and shit. There is totally nothing that could go wrong. Tet. Everything that could go wrong; did. Especially when it comes to friends that you consider your lifeguards or those wildcards you have when you feel you're in "deep shit".

And "deep shit" is what I am in right now. In all the wrong departments, with all the right friends. No amount of explanation or bullcrapping could make up because it will end up sounding pathetic ... isnt that always the case. Huh.

Now the best thing to hope for is to curl up in bed and make it all go away .

This makes missing the crazy poly friends even more worse ...

2010-03-11T22:45:00.002+08:00

The only thing I want to do on the 12th of March is eat, eat, smile and eat.

2010-03-11T02:33:00.004+08:00

Its like being in a forbidden Wonderland.

You know you're not supposed to, but the joy and happiness is too ypnotic not to.

hYet another episode of sleepless nights, but this time I bet all the mosquitoes are dead. Either that or my blood doesnt taste that sweet anymore.

Either way, I still cant sleep and this thought just suddenly popped into my head. Why can't people listen listen? The kind of listening where all you have to be there for is to listen? Wouldn't it be nice if an individual would just blabber their problems away to someone trusting and dear to you without them making any comments or worse, comparing it with their own problems and start directing the convo about theirs?

Granted, we all have our fair shares of downs. Still, there comes a time when that someone just calls you up specifically for that one reason; to rage.

And what would make someone a good listener. Or maybe a great one. Do they have to just sit and stare at the person talking without saying anything? Nod at the right time and phrase? Hold their hands when they feel like crying? Or start bringing up other topics to distract them? Yea they'd probably do all of the above. Realise that advice is not given 'cause first, they probably wouldn't take it anyways and second, if they do take it and takes a turn for the worse, you dead. Hey, there's no harm in helping right!

Usually the first person we turn to; is our best friends. All we'd hoped for is for them to be there. And yes, listen. And most importantly, care and understand. We'd hoped.

Everybody thinks their problems are the biggest compared to everybody else's. No, yours is. No, his is. No, hers. We don't know. And personally, we dont care. But we have to. Don't we? And we want to. Just stop comparing yours with theirs. Its not the same.

2010-03-07T23:30:00.003+08:00

"Im ten years old. My life is half over and I dont even know if I'm black with white stripes or white with black stripes!"
- Marty the Zebra

Ahh the wonders of going through the motions of self-identity and making yourself be "something" or "someone". I have gone through 2 years of pre-school, 6 years of primary education, 4 years of secondary and before I elaborate any further, I stopped recognizing myself once poly became a part of my life. Like a midst in the ocean breeze, mindlessly tailing the crowds that are STRIVING to reach the end i.e, graduate.

With any hope or self-esteem that I have left in me, I will collect every last puzzle and piece it all back together before it really starts to affect someone I love and who loves me back. Its a mission. A promise.

Y'know how when your dreams turn out to be suhweeeeet, the moment you wake up you'll feel..curiously happy? and vice versa. I didnt realise that until a friend of mine said "ouhh so is that why you're so happy today?", after I told my dream that is. That kept me wondering, does it really affect our mood in reality? Ok nvm I know it does affect. Heck, even other people's dreams affect me. How I wish theres a program list to choose what kind of dreams you want to subscribe to. Mad friends laughing together during a mega-huge gathering: check. Family sitting around a table enjoying a nice dinner and catching up on each other's hullaballos (we dont do those kinda things much around this house):check check!. Me running..running..running and eventually flying through the skies with an idiotic smile on my face: omgg check. Being chased by a pack of dogs at my aunt's void deck: hell no. A loved one passing away: not in a million dreams. See now how lovely we would be if we had nice sugary dreams? even for just a day.

Ouh right, talking about Madagascar, which leads me to think about my friends (not that I associate them with zebras, lions or a HIPPO personally. wahahahha.), its just that without these different species in my social life, it would not be that interesting and happening(?). Right..so for instance, there's the hyenas. Alot of them, mind you. The baboons. Owls here and there. A few tigers/lions. Probably a couple of snakes. Ouh parrots too. One polar bear for an all-round hibernation period? You'll probably know who that is hehhe. Pig, rat, catss, dogs, urghh roosters, sheeps that follow their big leader around. Ok dah stop!

What i'm trying to get at is our life's like a jungle basically. Ok maybe a zoo la. Sheeps and polar bears dont junglelize *giggles* k stop it. In all honesty, without them, we wouldn't be who we are now. That character and personality that they shaped us into until this point. And as we go along meeting other species, be it a gorilla or an eagle, we'll change. For good or bad, God knows. In my zoo, a few of my baboons has changed..

But I'll still love them all the same (:

2010-01-30T23:54:00.003+08:00

Why I Can't Concentrate on GMP.

1. Facebook (thank gawd i dont do tumblr)
2. Justin Bieber on Youtube. (apparently my mum approves of him being my dreamboy but points out that he's too young for me. Hey, atleast she approves so hellyeah!)
3. My study table is in a mess.
4. The table beside my study table is in a mess.
5. Im too lazy to do anything about the mess.
6. I finished sewing and want to continue practising but the major female in the house took the thread away. Quote "later you finish the whole thing up and i have no threads to use" unquote. Reading in between the lines, "i dont want you breaking my needle and jamming the whole machine again."
7. The cat keeps mewing.
8. Bobo the evil clown is still haunting me.
9. The beetle that is flying around in my room right about now.
10. The temptation of my bed.
11. The fact that GMP is damn flucking boring and dry.
12. and there's 12 topics to memorise.
13. and the GMP project topic is from China and still very dry.
14. and &$#@!!#^&*!
15. I am scratching like a monkey all over because my cream is finished and there is no more Cetaphil and i just ate prawns AND squids AND more prawns.
16. Knowing there's no school on monday and tuesday. woohoo.
17. Realising the chem. engine. is probably the best thing that happened to me and i just realised it now after 3 years O.O
18. there's better things to concentrate on other than GMP. Like POO or AIC or American Idol on Star World.
19. Thinking what to get for a friend's birthday the next day.
20. I am still scratching.

See what I mean? The whole process is just horrible. Slap me for being a procrastinator.

2010-01-26T23:22:00.003+08:00

Logging onto the net got me searching for Lasalle-SIA, NAFA and PSB Academy blindly looking through courses that I felt were quite unachieveable. What with graduating looming near and all. Stupid private schools. Why privatise it in the first place? Right, it sounds more like a bimbotic question.

And with the class T-shirt done, apologies to my class if Ive been selfish and took my own sweet time to finish it. It feels like a very sweeet escape to be drawing and erasing and putting my creative juices running. What am I to do with 7 drafts anyways.

2010-01-26T23:15:00.001+08:00

2010-01-23T21:52:00.002+08:00

2009-12-21T23:48:00.002+08:00

19 years of sexayyy.

Happy Belated Birthday, Erin Azierah bte Roslan! We got close during secondary school , too close till we decided to make our own living fantasy at the back of the classroom haha but it was filled up to the brim with wonderful memories and laughters (: may our friendship last till the end of time and yours with love and joy. Love you babe !! ((:

2009-12-21T21:23:00.004+08:00

I'd love to be a man for a day, just to see what it's like.
- Brittany Murphy, R.I.P

yeah, I'd like to a be man for one day too.

I'd like to know what they're thinking when they look at you for longer than a minute ,

how sincere they are when they say they love you ,

whether they're really listening to what you say thats coming from your heart ,

do they really wish they had that other person for themselves instead of you ?

is soccer and computer games really that addictive ??

and what is with the ego !

nope i do not have anything against any guys ; its just guys in general .

i think we deserve something else better than this .

2009-12-10T22:33:00.001+08:00

PostSecret: Confessions on Life, Death and God from Frank Warren on Vimeo.

2009-12-09T21:07:00.003+08:00

Happy Advanced New Year just in case .

I nearly forgot my blogger password. HAHA. so yes, hello to anybody that even bothers to read this shitty blog. I have decided to take some time off my fruitfully hardworking mind (somehow its decided to work full-time this semester, thank GAWD!) to visit this place that i realise does not hold that much memories. I dont know how the hell others manage to update their blogs so religiously.

School is alright I guess. Maybe not. Anyways i'm feeling disconnected from school stuffs. It feels different. In a weird kinda way. If you know what I mean. Tests are popping up like fresh pimples. Unexpected and terribly brings your happiness level down by 90% of the Setpoint. Anyways, thats school for you.

My sister's gone to Myanmar for 10 days for her nursing thingey. My jacket better be in good shape. Other than that, yes have a safe trip and go spread some health and sanitary knowledge. Get back soon cause I have no one to bitchtalk with at home. I am so selfish i know. Hmm four of us are still studying , one working . No prizes for guessing right.

Ok lets not ahead of ourselves and promise another update in the coming future. I'd probably close this blog down and hide from the world, maybe migrate to America and lead a totally new life! hurhurr.

And its already 10 days into December...
I'm hating how things are moving too fast.
I'm hating how things are not turning out to be what I hoped it to be.

2009-10-31T22:51:00.006+08:00

Church and Rock&Roll .

First and foremost , here's a belated public birthday shoutout for Ainul Hikmah for 30th October ! *foo fooo* blow candles . Stay hyped and pretty okay miss ((:

and then there was "my sister's keeper". The rating was low and those who read the book said the book is nice but the movie was shitty. So screw the ratings laa , i told hawwei . Soo lalala happily we went off to watch the show and came out crying. No , sobbing . I just had to run out of tissue while my nose was running . Our dear Hawwei , as usual , was STRUGGLING to maintain his manhood . HAHAHA . the show was quite okay . still can tahan . There are moments where it makes you stop and think ;
Am I living my life to the fullest right now ? *ponder ponder*

Or those ;
Am I spending enough time with my loved ones and close friends that mean alot to me?
Then after that show , you'd feel like msging all those people you love and tell them you love them and the love would still be there even if they dont love you no more . Its abit difficult if you have a huge number of friends that you decided you love very much and finally you'd just forget about msging them . mampos .

Alright , back to protecting the country for Mr. nice guy .

And then there was "MJ: This Is It" . I die2 thought it only came out in America(!!) I was abit sad at first until Ayyub and Reihana were talking about its release . I was abit the slow but WHO CARES !? I WATCHED IT ! Alright it might not concern those whose not interested in him or his songs but again , who cares . It was very moving and touching . Listening to it just makes you want to move and dance and boogeyboard down the theatre stairs ..... yet all I could do was sing along and absorb him through the screen .

"Its all about love . L.O.V.E " Such a loving person he was . Still saddening how he's just gone . I still cannot grasp the crotch-grabbing move. But when he does it , it does not appear eww at all . More like , "yeah thats a sexy move" haha . ok shuddup .

2009-10-22T22:30:00.003+08:00

Everybody's Free

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of '99
If I could offer you only one tip for the future , sunscreen would be it .
The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas
the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
than my own meandering experience..I will dispense this advice now .
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth ;
oh nevermind ;
you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded .
But trust me , in 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself
and recall in a way you can't grasp now
how much possibility lay before you and
how fabulous you really looked...
You're not as fat as you imagined .
Don't worry about the future ;
or worry , but know that worrying is as effective
as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum .
The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind ;
the kind that blindside you at 4pmon some idle Tuesday .
Do one thing everyday that scares you .
Sing .
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts ,
don't put up with people who are reckless with yours .
Floss .
Don't waste your time on jealousy ;
sometimes you're ahead ,sometimes you're behind ...
the race is long , and in the end ,it's only with yourself .
Remember the compliments you receive ,
forget the insults ;if you succeed in doing this , tell me how .
Keep your old love letters , throw away your old bank statements .
Stretch .
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life ...
the most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives ,
some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't.
Get plenty of calcium .
Be kind to your knees , you'll miss them when they're gone .
Maybe you'll marry , maybe you won't ,
maybe you'll have children , maybe you won't .
Maybe you'll divorce at 40 , maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary...
what ever you do ,
don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either -
your choices are half chance , so are everybody else's .
Enjoy your body ,use it every way you can ...
don't be afraid of it ,or what other people think of it,
its the greatest instrument you'll ever own .
Dance ...
even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room .
Read the directions , even if you don't follow them .
Do NOT read beauty magazines , they will only make you feel ugly .
Get to know your parents , you never know when they'll be gone for good .
Be nice to your siblings ;
they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future .
Understand that friends come and go ,
but for the precious few you should hold on .
Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get ,
the more you need the people you knew when you were young .
Live in New York City once ,
but leave before it makes you hard ;
live in Northern California once ,
but leave before it makes you soft .
Travel .
Accept certain inalienable truths ,
prices will rise ,politicians will philander ,you too will get old ,
and when you do you'll fantasize that
when you were young prices were reasonable ,
politicians were noble and children respected their elders .
Respect your elders .
Don't expect anyone else to support you .
Maybe you have a trust fund , maybe you have a wealthy spouse ;
but you never know when either one might run out .
Don't mess too much with your hair , or by the time you're 40 , it will look 85 .
Be careful whose advice you buy , but ,
be patient with those who supply it .
Advice is a form of nostalgia ,
dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal ,
wiping it off , painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth .
But trust me on the sunscreen ...

2009-10-18T00:26:00.004+08:00

The L Word

I have vowed to keep my hair longer than my skin temperaments would allow . Yessirrehh ! So guys wont slap me on my back no more as a gesture of Hey . Nah Uhh . So I wont get called down to play soccer instead of going shopping . And I can do that "flick your hair over your shoulders" that they do . Personally , I find that gesture quite disturbing . So scrape that . Ouh , main point is ; then maybe I can NOT be referred to as a Tomboy anymore . Please , people .
Hint : The writer of this blog has long demolished her days of kicking balls , owning a disowned skateboard or a super haawwt yellow bike which supposedly did not belong to her in the first place and got thrown out by her sweet old mother (very sad time for yours truly) . No more cutting up my hair when stress sets in ! You go , girlfriend !

Tomorrow's the first day of the last battlefield . The only time I am looking forward to is taking 72 to school and taking 72 back . I think you know that I know you know why . I think we all know how cocked the timetable is . I sure as hell know that .

Message of the day ; its after you have done it or said it all out , thats when you realised you made a mistake and see the true beauty of what lies beneath .

2009-10-14T00:13:00.007+08:00

Empire State of Mind .

Technically , im not supposed to burn any of my existing fats . Im supposed to gain some . But gym with Erin on Monday was FUYOOO . Define fuyoo in your own terms . Haha . I still remained the same though . Duhh . I cannot be expecting to gain weight in a gym righttttt . My stamina was h-o-r-r-i-b-l-e laa . Macam gini dancing is ten times more preferred option to keep in shape .

Talking about dance , one would never have thought that these few people from your past would bring sooo much joy and make a difference in your life . Dancing is back in my agenda baybeh !! I just HATE the making up part cause then my pimples will rage war . Ouh joy . Hopefully the big events dont clash with the exams . Anyways I know it will but hoping never killed anyone .

Say hulloo to our pet cat , Bell . Hullloooo ! First time we had a shecat in the da house ! Lets give it up for her people ! Apparently , the he-cat before this was jealous we took her in so he took off , bringing his catified ego and pride with him . Guys and their egos . Fine whateverr luh . Its his loss .

Ouh yeah and that day also was the jalan raya with the girlfriends/secondary school cliques . Thats why i was wearing my baju kurung and you see nicha in the background . The rest were probably either sleeping on the sofa or lying on the carpet floor watching that horror movie . Tu baru panggil "buatlah macam rumah sendiri" hahaha . Thats my house for you . Enjoy it now or never . No more lepak sessions anymore next year ! Sad now that I think about it .

So the timetable for the 2nd semester is out . Whoppee -__- The only thing I hate about it is we only have one hour break each time ; my two wonderful girls have 4 same modules as me so it means 2 lesser modules to crap with ; 3/4 of the week starts at 8am ! [%&$%*$%^$#] ; one is 5 hours straight , 2 others is 4 ; and did i mention we have one hour break each day ?

im not complaining .

2009-10-04T21:28:00.002+08:00

Take time to smell the Roses.

Dementia (meaning "deprived of mind") is a serious cognitive disorder. It may be static, the result of a unique global brain injury or progressive, resulting in long-term decline in cognitive function due to damage or disease in the body beyond what might be expected from normal aging. Although dementia is far more common in the geriatric population, it may occur in any stage of adulthood. This age cutoff is defining, as similar sets of symptoms due to organic brain syndrome or dysfunction, are given different names in populations younger than adult.
Dementia is a non-specific illness syndrome (set of signs and symptoms) in which affected areas of cognition may be memory, attention, language, and problem solving.
Credits to wikipedia for the information.

yeah thats what my raya this year is mostly about. three dementia-ish old ones in one night. its sad yet scary at the same time knowing that this disorder is occurring to those around you. its not family though. just people that once left footsteps in your lives.

its super disturbing if you are being faced by people with dementia within a 3-day period . its like getting smack in the face by Ms. Reality . 17 years ago , i would not have thought these very people are the ones that fed me and entertained me with their antics . they looked so young and vibrant then . now , its sad that they cant even see you 17 years later cause of those old people syndrome . singing in the middle of the night and imagining things that we would never have begun to imagine .

Its like your face kena slam in the door while you were happily smelling the roses and laughing with chocolate stains on your teeth . yeah that kind of expression . slammed in the door THREE TIMES .

yess i admit , i was wondering how my mum would be when she's 85 years old . but i hoped she would still be the irritating bugger that she is now . hahaha . minus the nags and i dunno how menopause will be like for her 0_0

probably by now most of my friend's fb would be loaded with their family raya pics waa i very envious okay haha . probably by now , i still have not seen my uncles and aunts . wahaha .

and you obviously would not be reading this, and so do everybody else since this blog has been abandoned for quite a long time haha my bad , but hawwei , you are one tak handsome brad pitt and your sweet talk is soo going to get you in trouble one day .

but thank you for the shoutout!!
you may be FULLer around the tummy , FULL of vulgarities and an avid smoker but honestly , i foresee all that and see a truly honest and loving friend that never fails to spend that extra precious time just to talk and listen before lights out .

and if i dont smile enough , thank you for those "Fcuk lahh , atleast can smile for me anot!"
just like you said ; Take time to smell the roses.

2009-09-08T05:39:00.003+08:00

Kantoi

i love her voice !! those ooohh sexy hubba hubba voice . more like pink when she's sober or singing emo-ish songs . and she's a malaysian btw . coool hor .

countdown;
13 days and 4 overtimes to gooooooooooo ! plus one public holiday and one half-day . yet it still does not make me feel better about the upcoming presentation . kianchioooong mode full on siooooot !

2009-09-05T15:25:00.005+08:00

ATTORNEY: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
WITNESS: "No."
ATTORNEY: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
WITNESS: "No."
ATTORNEY: "Did you check for breathing?"
WITNESS: "No."
ATTORNEY: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
WITNESS: "No."
ATTORNEY: "How can you be so sure, doctor?"
WITNESS: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
ATTORNEY: "I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?"
WITNESS: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practising law."

wahahaha! if you find it lame , it is !

anyhow , lets get philosophical here .
lets see . some things just don't go the way you want it . some words are meant to be said but yet there is no easy way of putting it . blabla bla in my terms , it sucks . there are some things you regret doing but yet there is no way of turning it around . yet there are some things you did not ask for but its those things that you realise now you cannot live without . presently , i have regrets that go way back to secondary school year 1 . and i still regret it now . yeah whatever . see , i told you it sucks . but but , life decides not to be a bitch and replaces the sucky ones with tiny little surprise packages . Surprise surprise ; its not what you asked or wanted . But give and take few weeks , months or years , you realise that you cannot live without it . now i guess this is where destiny or fate or whoever comes in . maybe you're fated to be a doctor , maybe you're not . maybe you're destined to love her , maybe you're not . maybe you're supposed to die the next day at 2 in the afternoon due to a freak accident , or maybe not . but get this . its not too late too apologize or say you love a person when you can still breathe . i admit to one thing . i apologized to a friend after 3, 4 years maybe , and it made me feel a whole lot better . not like a weight has been lifted off my shoulder , no , it did not feel like a burden . it felt more like my heart felt lighter . maybe it'll work for you .

on a sidenote;
when i wake up in the morning with the radio already turned on , my dreams and the music get weaved in together and its very beautiful dream at times . you never know what dream you gonna get . depends on the kind of music the radio is playing . try it ! or im too slow to learn about this ?

2009-09-03T23:19:00.002+08:00

hello! say hello to eneos. Its a she. She's a malay. She nearly got knocked down by a forklift carrying an oil drum. She's one lucky cuckoo. and here she is, our lab pet. all the attention she needs, she gets it. like i said, she's one lucky cuckoo. even the most harshest man (read: colleague) could coo so lovingly and trying not to show it.
"eh kayu, you free? nahh you go weigh sample, i check on the bird"

--_________--"

here's the life story of eneos so far. EAT = SHIT. the probability of it eating is to shitting is 1:1. in other words, while feeding her, she shits. so you can imagine the number of times we have to feed her. we're not trying to be birdbrains here but we do not know how many times they're supposed to be fed or what their crying means. so we assssume that when its chirping, its hungry. it sounds worse than the pour point alarm by the way. but again, the lovey dovey feeling this bird brings out in us.

put the birdy outside the window and hide in another room waiting for the mommy bird to come and take its little birdy away. another kayu comes stomping by with sample test and scolds us for staking out.

anyways, so yeah thats what i did for work today. I staked out a bird.

sidenote. i am never forking out money for ANY Magnum ice-cream a.ny.more.

i now know the feeling of sleeping while standing. washing the apparatus at work with the tap water running. cool water running against your arm. the repeat motion of scrubbing to and fro. up and down. to and fro. WHO WONT FALL ASLEEP LIKE THAT. heres where i thank god for noisy colleagues.

2009-08-22T22:48:00.003+08:00

"you make my heart skip a beat. maybe it even stopped beating for 7 seconds for all i care."
probably thats the feeling when you see your mushy half. im guilty of feeling so. but wooohooo having to be face to face with a huge black dog with its pinkish tongue literally hanging and salivating off its face is enough to make my weakweak heart stop for a minute la!! on your left is a locked gate and on your left is a jurong highway filled with lorries, buses, cars, bikes and three traffic police and one of them happens to be unfortunately cute. anyways, we had a staring competition and i tried having a conversation with it in my head, so help me God. I had an ugly experience with a chasing dog while i was little and that familiar sense of childlike fear came rushing back. so you can imagine the run of my life when the dog ignored me and went away. somehow i concluded that the conversation in my head worked haha! betul punya bodoh.

so drama. i try my best to avoid it, really.

we were so boredd, we didnt realise we started drawing bananas and oranges. it was THAT boring working overtime on a saturday. hmmm.

2009-08-16T20:50:00.003+08:00

see that woman in the middle with the thumbs up sign and woohooo face? woooooo she is one coolshyt person in her 30s and takes HOT photos without even trying. Its those few moments that makes you gape, gawk, gagap, guli-guli matanya.
i . am . in . awe .

see that woman on the left with the retarded face and teary eyes? wooooo she takes SEDUCTIVE photos like meowwrghhh. haha. hell you do not know what woman has hidden under their sexual drives when they see cows and zebras. hahaha! johhkingg.

see that woman on the right with the way too big smile and way too small eyes? she got home way past her bedtime and reached her workplace way too late but the annoying ahpek of a security guard was irritated that she was way too early. who gives a shit if humans are early anyways? you tell me. that guard was way too weird.

weirder still;
is this particular advice or should i say, personal suggestions, that i keep hearing since a few months back. And it comes not from blood relatives or close friends. It comes from people that i have "the weather looks fine and dandy today huh *smiles*" kind of conversation, or worse, from those i dont even know.

__"dont give a shit what people say about you. they dont even know you well. whatever gets thrown at you, stand up to it and go for what YOU want. its life. we're all secretly fighting for what we want."

and they smile, wish me luck, and poof. never seen or heard from again.
weird, right?

2009-08-06T22:53:00.004+08:00

If I had a bike , I would not have to take crampy bus rides with old uncles and aunties and give my seat up . Not that I forced myself to do so anyways . It just comes naturally to give my seat up wakaka !
If I had a bike , I could travel to places faster and avoid traffic jams .
If I had a bike , it would look super cool but yar yar i know the cool factor does not count as a great factor . But its still a factor to consider .
If I had a bike , the washing time would be lesser as compared to a car .
If I had a bike , I would treat it like my baby and any human or material lays a scratch on it , probably i'd just scratch yours back , maybe triple the paint damage .
If only I had the balls to take up a license , then can I have my bike .

My cat lost its bell . Now she looks like a he .

and apparently , lizards nowadays are taking a toll on my heart rate and voice frequency . Its either I am receiving karma for hating them so much or just damn suay . I kept thinking that i am just suay but the speed that these lizards are coming at me in a week's period are becoming too much for me to bear . Maybe its karma . Lets see . One covers the door of the toilet , which if you are quick enough to figure out , is the only way in and the only only only way out . Its not a huge shower-cum-bathtub with rows of shelves to accomodate your belongings . Unfortunately its only a small rectangular piece of booth with a loo that already takes up 3/4 of the space which leaves you only three steps to take and half a meter from the door . Or maybe a scenario where you are in a crowded mrt but a tailless baby lizard goes to YOU and still is going towards YOU when there are obviously other stinking feet around . Maybe thats not enough for a karma so another one would just love to hide in your shoes , YOUR shoes , climb up your leg and do a friggin backflip off your arm .

This then brings up the question . WHAT DID I EVER DO TO THEM ?! Pissed off sia .

getting back to the main topic of this entry.
Happy Advanced Birthday, Singapore!! ((:
I know im patriotic . Aida stop it .

2009-07-30T21:27:00.008+08:00

HAHAHAAHA !
these people go around doing their work super fast nak mampos and efficient without even rushing even I get lost in the midst of sampling the products but the thought of starting a bbq fire using a fan is wahahhaha ! All it took was 20 seconds la power or whatt !

2 people squeezing in one bed with wet hair in an air-conditioned room and laughing non-stop at 'girl talk' and sleeping at 2 in the morning will get bad bad results but thats another case .
Having a fcuking HUGE ugly disgusting dark brown lizard at the door of the toilet that you need to use super fooking urgently at close proximity is NOT a way to start your morning with not enough sleep .

l* lisa *l some kind of wonderful says:
and how in the world u noe im online ??
sherilaidaa/. GAAAAAAAHHH. says:
ever since last week.
i can sense it!
HAHAAA.
l* lisa *l some kind of wonderful says:
AHAHAHA!
sherilaidaa/. GAAAAAAAHHH. says:
why? cannot talk to you uh?
l* lisa *l some kind of wonderful says:
no larr . spoookyy
sherilaidaa/. GAAAAAAAHHH. says:
ouhhh.
l* lisa *l some kind of wonderful says:
skali i not online . then u like idiot sia talk to yourself .
sherilaidaa/. GAAAAAAAHHH. says:
excuse me, WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS HIDING AWAY FROM ME. WE'RE IN A RELATIONSHIP YOU KNOW.
DONT HIDE THINGS FROM ME!
l* lisa *l some kind of wonderful says:
IM NOT hiding from you la tooot
i just naturally appear offline
and u being attached to me and we are SO IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER , that u can even SENSE ME !
which couple could do THAT !

awwwh~ shoo shweeet right . i bet you're jealous .

official date also have you knoww . 25hth july as of 25th july 2009 . wahahaha .

such strong love connections .

now this is what i call an open relationship .

love yaa ass .

((:

2009-07-19T03:44:00.003+08:00

The one day that I am not working and looking forward to every week is the day I wake up and feeling utterly meluat with myself I feel like getting dressed and ride the mrt to God knows where for hours and hours instead I woke up and watched the ending part of Titanic where Jack and Rose were stuck in the cold sea and saying sweet empty promises and still cried after watching it countless times until my tears formed a distinct flowy line down my freshly baby powdered cheeks and bosoms leaving it to dry and i felt stupid after that cause its just a stupid old show with empty promises then I salvaged my fridge for food and walk in and out of my room in and out getting downright restless and sick thinking why am i not at work ?

I think getting immuned to work AND having your moolah gone each time it comes

sucks balls.

2009-07-04T23:25:00.000+08:00

2009-06-28T20:07:00.002+08:00

No matter what my friends or other people say about him , I still feel MJ's loss .
My uncle is sooo going to freak .
This is half as bad as when Aaliyah passed on .
Dammit I should stop depending so much on my music cause its stupidly affecting me
=_____="

2009-06-21T00:04:00.003+08:00

Babi Attack!
Out with 2 of ze most irritating girls you could meet up with. No doubt it felt like eons since I have seen either of them (or the rest for that matter) and it feels like as if a cannonball has been lifted off my shoulders and laughing could never get any more hyenafied than it was today. I love these little piglets. So we picked a wrong spot to hang out at. Changi Airport. And all the thoughts of the great flu pandemic "arriving" first-hand from overseas by its carriers comes rushing to our heads. Funny how taxi drivers are avoiding this so-called 'infected' place yet we voluntarily bring ourselves there. And I'm not referring to the swine flu when I say Babi Attack. Its becoming almost like a norm with these cases. No I'm not expecting more innocent souls to be carriers but every single day I read My Paper, (yes its a chinese newspaper but I'm already being surrounded by chinese folks playing the chinese station on radio and conversing in full-on chinese mode so dont spare me why dont you. and the paper's free anyways with half its pages in English. Atleast I get half the news.) its like more cases are adding up. Returning to Babi Attack, its a card game that has made me the Queen of all Babs. Thats all you need to know for now.

Its been 4 weeks into attachment and truth be told, it feels like all the suppressed feelings of sadness, anger, happiness, joy, tiredness and the urge to babble and converse in your own mother tongue with your own community has made me squeeze up all of it in one tiny box for keeps 'till Saturday. Thats the one day when I would have already made plans with family, friends and loved ones, take out that one tiny box and let looooose. Its only for one day. You can bet that I would most definitely make use of that one precious day to spend time with people I love and catch up on anything so for the love of chocolate cakes and toblerone, try not to pangseh me. Take up all my future Saturdays for all I care. I need laughter and joys I can grab on one day because letting it out everynight is tiresome to say the least.

And to you, I sincerely apologize for putting out all my mixed up suppressed feelings on you but I know you'd be one to understand and patiently endure my crankiness. You know I'm not mad at you and I could not be cause you just give me that..'face'. The one that makes me shy away and be dumb momentarily. With that said, you are truly one irritating little bugger in one huge non-returnable package.

So far, if I were to really reflect on the past few weeks, I know I've been such a cranky wuss of a nanny who doesnt even go by what she preaches. And deep down inside, I know they think im a cranky wuss of a nanny too but hey, im human too y'know! But the idea of gaining up on what I've said is set on my calendars to make it up to you folks! On the other hand, life hasn't been that bad lately. I anticipate fridays and dread the coming of sunday night. Talking about Sunday, Finding Nemo is on tv! And im not trying to avoid the topic of Father's Day or whatever.

So yea and wishing Frankie and Hafiz Rasip a happy belated birthday!! 21 and 19 respectively haha.
Frankie, I truly wish you happiness wherever that you might be staying at Mr. Macho Man haha. I am very happy to be working with you every Sunday because you dont make it seem like work every single time and thats the best thing.
Hafiz, I really hope you find your right girl that you're seeking for but hey, we're still young and living it! haha. Dont diminish your talent with your guitar or any other musical instruments cause then I wont have anything to listen to la dey! ahahaa. Meet up one day aight.

On a last happy note ; WE SAW NUR SHAMA SIDEK !! Yeah looking gorgeous as ever even though she's running around working her butt off. Talk about eons ago...

2009-06-13T20:46:00.002+08:00

Stop in the Name of Love! What other nice way to spend your weekend than escaping to the nearest theme park with your loved ones? its nothing like the roller-coaster rides in the United States of Japan but its enough to make my mum scream like hell on the mini roller-coaster meant for small kids! waahahahaha! Yes I admit. I was embarrassed but hey, its your own mother so who gives a shyt right.

To add to that, me and my sister got to shout "STOP!!!" to the operator while riding on the Viking 'cause our dear woman of the house could not take it any longer after two swings. Experience of a lifetime or what!!! I wonder whether we are the first ever to do such a thing O_o hmmmmm. I bet she could win the world's best screamer in one day. And to that kid who spit onto the water and wanted to jump-queue, HAH TAKE THAT! your misdeeds made your viking ride shorter! wahahha. see laa cut queue sumore..

Lets put all those aside. What takes the cake is entering the haunted house, which we initially ASSUME to not be so scary and should be okay as compared to the scary rides. hah! lesson learnt: do not ever assume guys. cut long story short, we ended up walking in between two unknown innocent guys and i started to pull and grip hard on his backpack while the other guy, at the other end, started asking his friend to walk faster. That one is FO SHO he was scared HAHAHAHAH told you it was scary....

Out of topic, work is draining my happiness away !!!
Eyebags are not only dark, but layered! which sane human could deal with that.
This is NOT coool AT. ALL. siaaaaaaaaa.
Lina, must catch up soon on...everything! hehh. I know you're secretly reading this giler.
Aida, bitching session soon hor. I know you know. *winks*
I need Marlene to have a vulgarity-filled conversation about life.
I need to learn Mandarin. pronto.
I need a hug badly. Hugging the cat is giving me flu. fck.

2009-06-11T04:35:00.011+08:00

Lone-ism.
At this point of time, I swear I would rather go back to school, see my friends, laugh, talk and of course study! I know studying is not my forte but keeping hush to myself with no one familiar to gossip with and share familiar stories is killing me softly. Right. and becoming a morning person is not cool yaw. Who, you tell me, would want to be one of those antsy pantsy business-minded people who rushes into the mrt every gawddamn morning. Who, you tell me, would want to be like them who sleeps in the mrt so comfortable you cant help but sleep too. And when you wake up, its like the whole world is sleeping with you. yes, even those that are standing. haha. Who, you tell me, would want to be me? wahaha!

Let me see, I am such a jerk lately for missing out on my friend's birthday. So, here's a shout-out to them people close to my heart! :

Vincent Ng Wei Kian on the 29th of Sept! Ok I owe this dude ALOTALOT laaa. That's all there is to say for now. I feel like a slump over it. Tan Hawwei on the 4th of June! I think. He's a proud NSmen now wahahaha. Always complaining and still doing so. Always sweeet and still is (: Alicia Pan Yixuan on the 6th of June! You are a strong woman! Have faith in yourself aite bimbz. You'll always have us by your side ((: and dont lose your bimbo-ness! We love you the way you are.Amirah Aziz on the 5th of June! Babe! Sorry for the super late wish. Meet up with the girls soon tau!! Miss you and Love you! Stay pretty and sweeet always ((:

Getting 'younger' is no small feat. No shit. But we become stronger and bolder somehow.

2009-05-24T21:58:00.006+08:00

A round of applause. Another round of i'll miss you's.

4 months of not poking fun at each other. 4 months of not gossiping. 4 months of non-stupidity and gay love and sayangs and vulgar-ism and shouting and punching and pushing and pinching and laughing at each other and kissing and loving and hugging and copying work and talking on the phone and singing and stoning and crapping and thinking. Thinking of where to go for lunch and rock-scissors-paper-ing just to decide. That already takes up like 10 minutes of our school time? Now waiting for the bus in the morning , alone , will take up 10 minutes of my time. I hope i have a colleague who sings early in the morning ...

All the best, friends ! We can do this shiattt ! Afterall , its only 4 months , right ? wahahahahha yeaa right . oh oh , sidetracking . I dreamt that i got married to Nelly !! whose the happiest girl in the world right now? ME ! who can dream on ? ME ! ME ! ME ! woooooooooooooo . hoooooooooo .

2009-05-22T21:44:00.004+08:00

Mirage. If you had a choice to be a member of X-Men , which would it be ? HAHA.
Yea i know this sounds so the facebook-ish but ive been thinking for almost the whole day today which X-Men i would like to be . so i google-d some info on the net hoping to gain more insights on the more unknown characters (it seems abit OFF to be searching online for such things but its getting on my nerves and i really was curious to find out! so sue me.) and guess what?! its like they made X-Men as if it really exists in real life sia! Did you know Shadowcat had a long-time lover called Colossus? and they have a WHOLE FRIGGIN LIST of members, inclusive of their character's real name. like wtf. i bet those hardcore comic readers out there knows atleast 98% of the members dating back to 1963!
anyhooos , i was stoning as usual in the morning train ride thinking about the usual hibbyjibbies of nothingness when i realised i need to top-up my mrt concession. mrt concession = every day take mrt = super long ride = sian-ism and taking up alot of time which then leads me to thinking if i had superpowers , i would take like less than 5 seconds to travel , which then leads me to spend less on concessions and enjoying more 'favourable' morning views and have reduction on eyebags !! power or whattt.
right . so i want to teleport . ouhh and i would love love love to read whats on people's minds . *evil witch laughter* its immoral sometimes and soo no privacy for others but do they know?nyehh i doubt so! dang. how i would love to know whats on that woman's mind when i was sitting on the priority seat; staring at me inside out like as if i owe her a million bucks. there's no poor old trembling soul around so why should i care? you seem young and healthy to stand on your journey. who ask you to wear heels in the first place HAH!
so i was scrolling and scrolling for some super cool X-Men chick and i stumbled upon :
Mirage!

She's got telepathy, ability to sense death and can communicate with animals! cool or whatt! then i can find out what my cat really thinks of me and i can talk to her! uh huhh i loikee. right so her costume is abit "hmmmmm" and i hope thats not her underwear on the outside but hey, lets look on the bright side. atleast her thighs are small and has small cheeks. her boots with tinsels? BIG NONO.

she doesnt have teleportation though. maybe i should go find a member with teleportation abilities and make him fall for my character. nyahahahakz.

2009-05-21T22:06:00.004+08:00

Random.

i can't get ayyub's standing broad jump swinging position out of my head. HAHAHAHAA!

ouh and we went to school like freee like that worzxzxzz. soo irritating horzxzz. and then they cancel Napfa after we took the 5 stations oledi. ii super sian laa.

i have never cried super badly as i did when i watched 'two against time' . its about this mother and daughter relationship. Both has cancer and the way they carry out their character is so realistic and touching that your tearducts would just give way unexpectedly. at times its irritating cause after a sad scene comes another one and i could never have time to wipe away my tears before my mum comes in and starts poking fun at me for crying.

i still have no idea how i could have watched that show a day before my final exams.

tomorrow is our graduation from cptc training after 6 WOAAWWZ weeks.

i know this will sound super cliche, but the whole thing felt like only yesterday.

then its 2 days to catch up on sleep, friends, and more sleep before attachment starts on monday, 25th. 2 days !! even more WOOAAWWZ.

attachment is scaring the hibbidy-jibbidy out of me !

i managed to get away from being caught eating in the library. HAHAHHAH. i still CLEARLY remember aida's and ayyub's expression that unfateful first day of stepping into NYP after so long hahahhahaaa! kodak moment click click! and the library, please for goodness sake, its a library. and your own PA system is blaring above maximum. and the system now is becoming tsktsktsk. then again, im not sure whether they do have a new system now or i just forgot the library was already that way to begin with.

i dont like the new ez-link card system. i dont like it. at all.

I miss lina. and the girlfriends. eee. is this the junction where all of us start to slowly fall away from each other and then we only meet up when there's an event or special occasion? eeeeeyer. then slowly all the guys will go to NS and come back becoming men. which would be quite hilarious considering quite a few of em go through such painful measures to make sure their hair stays where its supposed to. i miss them too.

2009-05-13T22:19:00.004+08:00

Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you .
I'm not sure whether this is just a fucking bad week for me or God is just testing my patience, integrity, judgement and will to survive. It felt as though if I just took a super duper microscopic wrong step, it could affect the macroscopic turn of future events in the next .. 5 minutes. Have you felt it before? It hurts. It sucks. and it makes you feel like tearing your friend's hair off their head and punch them in the face till their eyes come out of their sockets just to lift all that heavy heavy load off your shoulders. Its not as if it makes me feel any better; but it helps to just think about it I guess. It would not hurt that much if it happened one whole day. But two days straight? Right from the moment you woke up with just one eye still close to the minute before you sleep. Okay so i prayed and prayed and hoped that atleast one good thing would happen. Now i totally understand how good things come to an end. maybe a tad too fast.
eee. so this is how it feels like to be a fish out of water.
superrr suayyyyy !

2009-05-10T03:59:00.003+08:00

happy Mother's day .
and
happy advanced birthday .

I love you more than I ever loved myself .
sorry .

2009-05-05T20:33:00.002+08:00

MY LOCKER AINT IN MY POCKET NO MOREE !!!

I dislike mrts . not hate ; dislike . they bring me gloomy mornings just having to look at dem super alienated faces staring back at me . play games in your phones or something laa . or laugh to the radio deejays cracking their lameass jokes . thats what they're there for in the first place i presume . smiling alone in the mrt atleast with the earpiece on does not make me a clown ; so it wont hurt you too . so please stop staring at me . im not your morning paper folks .

i have "public confrontation" issues . if such issues ever existed in the first place HAH!

ohh best part is , when one sneezes or blows into a tissue paper , the people around them starts to cover their nose and mouth and move about an inch or so away . hahahahaha FOR
GOODNESS SAKE . it rains/drizzles in the morning my dear fellow Singaporeans and its normal bodily functions to sneeze when we catch an innocent cold that probably would just last for half an hour or so once the sun comes up to greet us .

at times its tooo tempting to just flick that tissue paper in their direction and see how they react .

12 more days !

2009-05-03T21:40:00.002+08:00

I know this ad has been on television for quite some time . and every single time , it never fails to make me tear . and the best part of it was that the husband was a chinese . ok i presume the ad is trying to urge people to have a family and kids or see beyond racial boundaries or whatever but lets not look at the message its trying to portray . im still too young for that anyways . but the simplicity and impact that the commercial holds , its truly a work of art . i hate sentimental stuff . sometimes its very draining . eeeeerritating .

though watching it makes me think about my family and our relationship with each other . i must say ; they have been a funny bunch lately. just yesterday , my dad msged all of us just to remind that my mum's birthday is coming up . he even stated the date . thats a first ! ouh and i think that he accidentally sent the msg to my mum cause she asked us whether we received it wahahahha plan backfired . and just last week , my mum msged me 'merry christmas' . thats her 2nd message to me ever since she learnt how to work the wonders of sms-ing .

truth be told , i have never truly appreciated some of those around me until i didnt see them for quite some time . i realised how much they have always cared for me even if they didnt show it . and i feel like a right fool right now ): ...

getting back about the ad , i wonder whether my future brother-in-law would be that indian guy my sister is currently dating . he is super duper cool maciam james bond . with those kinda low husky voice saying '"hey there sexy..." in those action-packed movies ...

right . enjoy your week folks .

its those little little imperfections that makes that someone perfect

2009-05-01T18:30:00.002+08:00

The first time I fell in love with a guy playing a violin was Zulhilmi in the school hall during Wednesday's assembly period .

it was beautiful .

I think im in love again .

2009-04-30T23:29:00.003+08:00

the rain was scary yet beautiful this morning on the way to cptc.
we sat in the cold lecture theatre for 5 hours straight.
my left fingers are deformed.
frankie had chocolate stuck to his teeth and he didnt realise it until he laughed out loud. it was super funny cause i was sitting beside him and the view was horrendous.
aida is very irritating when she wants to be. her imitation of me is doubly horrendous.
i hate my jumper. its "S" yet its super huge to me.
my locker spoiled and i could not care less about it.
we survived 3 weeks of intense sunshine, long lectures, popping of sweets every 20 minutes, squeezing past girls in the toilet-cum-locker room just to get to our lockers and change, making a beeline for the cafeteria and queueing up for super long, 50 minute journey to JE and back, and rushing at the end of the day just to not miss the bus back.
we have 3 more weeks to go.
i love bus trips back from cptc to jurong east. its painfully funny at times (:
i dont quite like Taylor Swift. She has this ____ face. I dunno what's in the blank dont ask me. However, her one song just got to me and i love it.
You're Not Sorry.
It reminds me of Jewel's kind of songs.
the future is scaring the vajajays out of me that everytime i try not to think about it, it just keeps rolling back in like a yo-yo.
whatever happened to yo-yo's these days.
anyways,
i love the sunshine after the rain.
(:

2009-04-26T15:23:00.005+08:00

Killing Me Softly.

first and foremost, I miss alot of people in my life! Like super badly it hurts.
haha kay no. But this cptc training is really sucking up 90% of our energy, time and social life.

Totally NO LIFE!

I miss the girlfriends. The 'movie marathon' at my house wasn't enough laa. pfft. We should have another date where we just slack at the park, squeeze in one chair and talk girl stuff.
I miss the boyfriends. Im single; for your information. By boyfriends I mean .. friends that are boys. whatever, you get the drift. One has gone to NS, one has got a new crush and no time for supper, one is busy with school and work and whatwhatwhat, another keeps getting me at the wrong time.
I miss my cat. She lost her voice hahahahaahaha. I miss project runway. I actually miss going to school.
I sound like a friggin whiner right now but who cares.
I miss my class too actually. Though I see them around in Jurong Island, 95% of them are in different groups and I get very happy just seeing them in the pantry.
I know you all miss me. Admit it! muahahaha.

this is such an emo post and this is so not me.

anyhoos, training has been quite hot. literally hot.
other than that, nope no hot guys, no hot gossips, nyehh nothing.
see, no life. 4 more weeks to go.

ouh, I've realised i look super skinny its D.I.S.G.U.S.T.I.N.G.
I disgust myself.
so if you see me looking so fugly limp and all skins and bones, dont tell me 'cause i'll feel like slapping you upside down. Dont get me wrong. I love food. L.O.V.E food. Food just dont love me back the same way.

on the bright side, im not an owl anymore! woots.
wake up at 4am. sleep at 9.30pm. PRO OR WHAT!!
pro i know!

and boy, you're some kind of wonderful.

2009-04-13T21:50:00.004+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SHERIL AIDA !

hey girlfriend ! firstly , it sure sucks to have your birthday on the very first day of our dear cptc training and all we did was sit in an auditorium , taking down notes and having a mega PFD shoved in our faces . but atleast you got to sit beside meeee ! every dark cloud has a silver lining , they say . HAHA! k la anyways , you're twenty ! dayyyyuumm . come to think bout it again , you dont act like one . and thats a compliment . hope your new age brings about new beginnings (ehem!) , new dreams , new hopes for the futures but please treasure the old . kay , SOME of the old . its been a hell of a roller-coaster ride with you in this 2 years and lets give it our all for the last lap ! we'll help each other through . like we always do . a kind-hearted soul that never asks for anything in return . I LOVE YOUU ! ouh yea . i will always be here if ever any male chauvinistic guys out there ever tries to hurt you . you know better . why are we in a relationship for in the first place right ? hahaa ! and for our third year , lets give it our all aite .
you can do it . Smile always ( :

2009-04-11T21:53:00.002+08:00

I have cool blue lips today .
Its disgusting actually .
My sister finds it funny .
I have tried brushing my lips , licking it , biting it , rubbing it , squeeze squeeze , rub.
Its still there .
I look like a smurf . a sick smurf .. with huge lips .

2009-04-10T23:31:00.015+08:00

dance, camp and all that jazz.

irfaan irritating . maybe i should have a detector that could detect "irfaan's presence" in my blog and maybe it could stop him from forcing people to blog about their ever-exciting life .

wahaha joking brudder .

somehow i feel that i should have listened to my mum earlier . she kept nagging at me to stay at home and quit going out almost daily ..

lo and behold ! look at me now! im like a sick vegetable with no backbone and a voice that could win ella hands down anytime . yeaa rock on !

and i missed my Titans chalet !!! sorry guys . i wanted to come down but i've already infected a few people . so get the drift ? can plan another get-together puh-puh-puhleaseeee?

*gives chipmunk face*

haha kk stop it sia .

ok so im a tad slow on updating about my ohmygawd interestingly busy life ,

so there was the danceworks finals '09 at Bellini Grande at Clarke Quay.

and congrats to Flair Nation for clinching the 2nd place !

You guys really rocked that stage ! Erin , you look sexayy as always babe haha .

oh oh and I took a picture with Soo ! Her hair is hawtt . And her voice just makes me melt youuuuu . If only Daniel Ong or the muttons were there but lets not be greedy children .

Flair Supporters ! Black is the way to go ~

then jeng jeng jeng there was Freshmen Orientation with my beloved Titans !

I swear i have never loved these people more . they are Crrrraazzyyy !

Elly Karmiza ! It was birthday on the 9th i think ? So happy belated girl !

I look hyperly excited (?) in this picture -.-Malik Dino ! My OGL partner !

you rock my socks mister ! the ever renowned "everyone squeeeze together in one lift!"

if you're short and small , you could suffocate/perspire yourself from the 7th floor to the 1st in 2 minutes . It is THAT bad I tell you haha .The Titan Hunks (:The Titans Babes (: [with aida]ayyub block my whole view ! that just goes to show how big he is . haha ! joke .

but its the truth nevertheless . wahahaha .

Titans will win the war ! I LOVE TITANS ! I'd never thought i would say this but i think i love titans more than i did mustangs ?

and already the cptc training will start on the 13th and I cant even join them for sentosa outing ! this is super sad la . i could just cry of sadness . ouh speaking of crying , hahahhha let me get this straight . ayyub did not make me cry okay . i am just an emotional person with too much tears to spare haha ! seriously . i can cry like there's no tomorrow . i can cry for tomorrow . i could cry for yesterday . i could cry for tomorrow today . i could cry over my fav broken specs . i could cry over blind people trying to cross the street ... you get the idea .

im going to be an oversized jumpsuit girl starting from next week .

UNIQLO store already opened at Tampines One . Buy or die situation .

and the doctor gave me cough syrup . SYRUP ! i have f.e.a.r.s about syrup medicines . strong fears . one look , one sniff of that evil-smelling , bright PINK concoction just makes me puke , literally . it runs in my puke system since i was a 5 . i remembered once throwing abit of that sick stuff down the sink so my mum would think i ate my meds . haha! that was a long time ago . im a big girl now . hah !

ouh and I miss Titans!

2009-03-29T23:09:00.004+08:00

we go together like peaches&cream . you&me .

eighteen chefs !
it is the nicest and most cheapest(im not quite sure) eatery that i have been to. thanks to Nurril! the best place for cheapos to go to. next time, put aside the whole day for lunch, dinner and better yet, supper! who ever said one day is enough when you put old buddies together?

met my dear asshole and asshole's friend which is my non-assholic classmate which could be considered as an asshole too. i love my assholess.

ouh yea. so Earth Hour was yesterday. and i spent it waiting for the "Riverside Point" sign to close but apparently it did not and i wasted few minutes of my life doing so.
dumb.
but there was this irritating bugger, which i cannot help but to adore, and he witnessed all the other lights turning off.
irritated or whatt.
oh quote unquote from my mum in direct translation ;
"im supporting earth hour! i support the lights but i dont support the tv."
seee what did i tell you. the indon sinetrons are becoming a blardy ritual !

ouh . today , 29th march i witnessed an angel.
three girls shouting, screaming, tiptoe-ing in the heavy under one not so big umbrella was saved by this guy who i swear APPEARED FROM NOWHERE . Passed us his umbrella that he was using and said we could just pass to him back once we reach the building in front. Then he just went off walking in the rain!
sooooooo sweeeeeeeeeet !
honestly, i thought he was some psycho with hidden intentions but hell noo.
this kind of situations with this kind of human beings are hard to come by you know.
i know you know.
if only there were more people like him out there in this unjust world...

2009-03-26T23:05:00.003+08:00

candlelit family dinners and saving the world.

hahaha. ok so the electricity in the house went out, again. like i wasn't already expecting it like that.
dumb.
so there goes our chicken salad and our cinetron 'ritual' at 7.30pm.
the feeling of when there's no current running in the house just sucks the living soul out of you and all you want to do is glue yourself to the chair and stone. stone. stone.
so thats what my family did. one by one, we get home from work/school and occupy every inch of the couch. woooo we powerr.
right. so instead of sulking and waiting for the power to turn back on (which God knows when la!) we decided to pretend we were living in the kampung days and trying to save mother earth at the same time -.- it was my mum's idea. so not mine.
oh my werd even my sister SACRIFICED her precious chocolate, caramel and green tea - scented candles just in case the lights decided to be a bitch. so sweet. so rare 0.0
okay. so there we were, eating dinner by candlelight and changing in the dark. ~~i felt like i was groping myself hahaa so anyways.~~
and they excitedly suggested doing this for the next two days until saturday, which was Earth Hour. so it was agreed .
the current came on three hours later.
we scurried to switch on the television because there was still half an hour left to "Suci".
two hours since then, i guess we can forget about what we agreed on.
though i do see abit of improvements here and there.
so much for saving Mother Earth. hah.

2009-03-25T21:47:00.003+08:00

Are You That Somebody?

Ever since the early days of secondary school, I have always had this mindset that the person next to me at the cashier counter could be someone from my future. or that person crossing the street towards the other direction could be my future colleague in some unforeseen company that I will be working for. or worse, God knows that guy with pierced ears and sexy eyes that just walked past me in the shopping centre could have been my future husband. ee. I hope not. anyways, thats not the point here. the point is, I still could never get my mindset to change no matter how ignorant I try to be towards the homosapiens around me. unknown strangers awe me. weird ones attract me. cute ones make me gawk but lets not go there.
Whats worse, I have the lowest possible tendency to not get caught staring secretively. once they catch me looking at them, i start to hyperventilate quietly and stare at other people, and get caught a second time and a third time and by then, i would have unvoluntarily attracted at most three pairs of eyes. in turn, i become self-conscious and start doing stupid, awkward .. body movements. this sort of scenario, people, is what made me a shy person and at which i still am by the way. seeee so now you would understand why i ~~hate~~ despise going out anywhere alone (despite another fact that my sense of direction is very, very haywire).
and i h.a.t.e taking mrts. they are the main sources of all these. they should make seats in mrt just like those in buses. chis.

yes, this post is somewhat useless.
yes, i am bored.
yes, i am a shy person by nature. i repeat, by nature.
yes, im very paranoid.
so i was just wondering if that man that i saw in the interchange was a reincarnation of my late grandfather. hmm.
yes, maybe its my pms thats doing this to me.
yes, life's like that.

2009-03-21T16:39:00.005+08:00

You are truly something. Right. So.
I only realised how badly down she is all this while when I saw her near to tears yesterday.
She spoke to me. I could not find anything comforting to say.
So I shut up and rested my head near her bosoms.
I hoped that that would atleast let her know we will always be there for her.
Maybe we will take the irritatingly adorable cat along with us too. Hehh.

And so.
I only realised how upset you were when you msged me how you felt.
I honestly felt like a downright fool.
Im sorry. I dont know what else to say.

So ya.
My dad is becoming a 'teenager' again and I seriously find it super cool.
I just hope he wont start wanting to become my 'best friend' , go shopping together and have
lepak sessions -.-
That would just be too weird. Then my mum would have to care for 4 children instead of 3.
Eh. Now I realise that he will understand me and my siblings more on a personal basis!

Its hard to find joy in life and savour it nowadays.
I just thank Allah for a close-bonded, healthy family.
and money really is the root of all evil. tsktskk. Its sad sometimes if you were to ever lose a friend or family member due to money? It just loses the meaning of love and compassion in this world. Like that one conversation I had with someone, if you cant help yourself in the first place, how can you help others? by helping others, you already feel like you're on top of the world and it makes you feel a whole lot better. But yea, once it concerns huges lumps of money or whatever, its a whole different thing altogether, isn't it?

2009-03-19T01:13:00.004+08:00

Sixteen. Another bunch of friends that will leave you in stitches and forever with their craziness.
I love them. very much you see. One more year left and its off to our own individual paths.
s.c.a.r.y.
Oh, and I had no idea Kallang Leisure Park existed 'till they brought me there. gosh.
thanks for the presents guys. Im not an MP4 virgin anymore!
and aida, I could survive on all that for the next one and half year i think haha. love you all to aloooot alooot (:
And I feel like a total dimwit for spoiling Alicia's camera. Hopefully the casio guy could fix it.

For some reason , I feel bad for going out in 10 days straight (if I count in the days after today).
I feel as if Im neglecting my family and pangseh-ing them by not watching Suci and Cinta Fitri together every night. HAHA!

saturdaysaturdaysaturdayfridaysaturdaysaturdaysaturdaysaturdaysaturday
saturdaysaturdaysaturdaysaturdaysaturdaysaturdayfridaysaturdaysaturday
saturdaysaturdaysaturdaysaturdayfridaysaturdaysaturdaysaturdaysaturday

then i think back. I got work on Sunday. all my excitement soo dies down.
then i think back again. I think my pay comes in on Monday. excitement level goes up.
see how my feelings are being cheated on a weekly basis? cruel cruel world.

2009-03-16T22:09:00.005+08:00

I hate to say it but I love my first day of being a nineteen year old.

How did I spend my last day of being eighteen?
It was Friday the 13th. wooo so all the bad luck thoughts starts to surface. Not trying to be cliche or what, but I was blardy cursed I tell you. I actually planned to stay in at the Tampines Regional Library from morning till late evening, tuck myself at one corner of the Hugo Room, read a couple of good books and be what I always felt comfortable being when I was in primary school. A good ol' bookworm. Sekali~~ it rained. waliew. spoil my plan, my appetite, my mood, my nose, my head, my clothes that I just hung to dry the night before -.-
So what to do? We sleeep. Sleep sleep until the point our stomach turns and churns out in anger and spite and hohahoha. So what to do? We go make maggi mee with 2 eggs. Being the pro cook that I am, I let it boil and leave it to go watch TV. The show was too exciting until I swear I forgot about my overcooked maggi. K nevermind. So I take it out and pour onto my plate/bowl. It decided to overflow and burn my friggin fingers --*--. Lets just say thank goodness it was raining and no one else was in the house. If I got a penny for every bruise I received this month itself, I could already get that super power $1.80 packet chicken rice at that stall alongside SINMA sia.

How was my eighteenth?
Like every other year, it holds memories that are to be treasured and reminisced upon in the future. My eighteenth too holds days that feels like you just want to fast forward or erase the day off totally. But then there wont be such a thing as bittersweet, would there? It mostly holds memories of CPT0704 and the ever crazy antics that surrounds us. Those moments that would make a great laugh for us maybe 6 years later? I didnt take my license though. I was practically engulfed with friends that were taking their license and some had already gotten theirs at eighteen. Nah im not jealous nor rushing to get it. Think I'll just take things one at a time for now and enjoy what I have with me for the time being. I also realised that my past and future are somewhat intertwined. There were a whole lot of meeting up and lepak sessions with unexpected old buddies and binding closer ties with the ones I have now. Maturity wise; hahahhaha safe to say I have truly understood the meaning of "appreciate what you have now" and "prioritize on your needs rather than your wants." Somewhere in the midst of being an eighteen year old, it struck me so bad that I felt like I really need to give a slap on my face. Besides that, I fell hard. Fell hard in love I mean. Go figure. Oh, and I have believed that everything happens for a reason. So whatever shit that came my way in my eighteenth year, I took it with a bit of sugary spice (:

How was my first nineteenth?
It was a "SURPRISE!". Really it was. Freak, it scared me shitless. hahaa. Sumpah the effect of 4 girls shouting, in your face nonetheless, with the pitch black background and only light coming from the candles...I could have peed right there and then. But it was sweeeeeeeeet! Thanks to Lina, Erin, Rabia, Mira, Ahmad, Sham, Ridhwan, Jo, Abu and my family for making it a very memorable day that I will never dare forget ((: I love you guys! Lina, this makes up for ALL the jokes and 'white lies' that I ever did to you HAHA!
Oh, and to Vincent and Sikai, you guys rock! Supper at Simpang at 12. I seriously hope that that will be the first and last time I ever ride in a car with either of them at the wheels.
So yea, thanks for all the well-wishes through smses, calls and facebook. Turning 19 sounds horrendous. Turning 20 next year seems unthinkable. But whatever it is, life goes on. All I gotta do is live through it with happiness, good health and fill it from time to time with lots of love and a pinch of salt. Amin.

Ok thats all folks ! I am nineteen and I am trying to love it ! (:

2009-03-10T21:05:00.003+08:00

I can't remember the last time I was this over-the-top past the horizons SHIT FUNTASTICALLY FRIGGIN FOOKING SCARED about results in my entire schooling life . Not counting the time while we were getting our O levels results and I instanteneously cried right before it was my turn . Nonononono . This is the kind of scared when your whole future flashes in front of you and shows you being unemployed , useless and hopeless ? Its scary shiatt i tell you and its not making me feel any better that my top-notched clever ass classmates are talking about not being able to go to university with their kind of grades .

The thought is killing me softly . I need my dosage of gummy bears and big bear hugs !!! hohohohoho .

So about camp these past few days . woaaa momma ! I have never been that desperate to get materials .. ever ! Maybe cause last time being in a CM group all I had to do was wait for my leader to get the materials for us while we sit and play animal games while they bidded ? now that I felt it , I was like on the brink of desperation . I bet I look like an total ass ; which I do most of the time anyways . And the number of bruises I got was 5 : 0 comparing to last year's . I like the bruises actually . wahahahahaha . Being a sadist that I am , looking at my blue-red-black bruise just gets me high somehow . Besides that , I think everyone did a wonderful job in their respective roles ! ( :

ah yes .
random note : I love you , Aida !

2009-02-28T22:35:00.006+08:00

N.E.R.D performing at Esplanade on 19th March .
If I did not get that ___ and that zpt!q#lk~ and that 5863723 , maybe , just maybe I could have had enough money to get the 88 bucks oneeeee. and maybe , just maybe bring my mum along since she knows the lyrics to 'everyone nose' and make her a happy person after everything thats been going on .

Somehow , Pharrell William seems cute to me . *giggles with her hands over her mouth*
He makes me feel so higghhhhhhhhh ighhhh . high above me . he's so lovely .

See maybe . There was something wrong . And you weren't telling me noooooo oooooo .

ooo ooo ooooo ooooo yea yea yea yea beautifulllllll I just want you to know , you're my favourite girrrlll .

so some of the lyrics are not from N.E.R.D . Just from pharrell . But who cares . *guffaws*

So I can forget about the Mr. Pharrell Williams .
Mr Lee Cooper , here I come baby !

2009-02-27T01:25:00.010+08:00

Went out with the dear cousin and dragged ourselves around looking for his cheap fabrics! omgawdd chinatown is damn huge . They have like four exits which all looks the same to me and minta ampunnnnn my legs felt like coming off after walking here , there and everywhere . Partly cause I wanted to save on my ezlink hahah cheapo I know shuddup . Cut long story short , it was a day filled with past , present and future thoughts . Met a few weird beings on the way . There was this one woman in particular that came up to us like as if she hasn't had any customers for a year . No she wasn't being pushy nor demanding . She was just ... talkative . I like her .

Oh and there was this uncle at the super damn cheap spectacle shop [ you should go to this shop at penin . Its damn blarrdy cheap to get specs there and to change your lens.] Plus , the uncle is damnn nice . Best part , he wanted me to add him at facebook HAHAH! cute or what! Started talking about how those superband guys even goes to his shop and his 'young hip customers' add him on facebook woooaaa you should see his face when he talks about it ! hahah but yea he was nice . The "D" Family Tree.

The result of a tiring day filled with unfulfilled questions . And so came up the idea of making a family tree cause honestly , we could not keep track of our family tree's expansion . **** , we could not even remember our little cousin's names 'cause there's just too many of them its barbaric . But I love them all the same .

------

BBQ Homepit .

Guess the title says it all . Some 'unreasonable' resident just decided to spoil our day because she does not want smoke in the air . pfffft . So we decided to bbq in the house the inhumane way ! It was stupid yet innovative at the same time , I wonder why we didn't think of it in the first place . Save on charcoal somemore hahahha . Oh oh and we had free karaoke session when "Dont Forget The Lyrics" came on . So you see , we did enjoyed ourselves very much until the point where the last bus kept calling out to us to go home . So you gong-gong of a resident , we had our fun suckaaa! muahaahahaa !

Our "BBQ homepit!"

special shoutout to our personal home chef , Jeremy Tan .

It's a small bunch , but we had a huge load of laughter (:

One more thing , guys should really go watch "He's not that into you" . Its the first movie that I really feel like bitch-slapping one of the woman character there and then .

2009-02-24T13:30:00.005+08:00

my maths is so screwed . I do not know how loose-r the screw could be at this point of time .

with that ;
I quote APA MAUUU BLAJAAA WAHAHAA unquote from Ipin .

2009-02-23T22:39:00.005+08:00

Happy belated Birthday to my dear elder sister , Alia ! 23 is old . Its 2 and a 3 for goodness sake .
I love you and you love me tooo ! =D
Happy Birthday to Rabiatul Adawiyah !
19 years of age and 1.9 cm to go ! you can do it ! hehhe joking . relax . aku tau aku pon pendek .
May you be happy on this happy happy day and one day when we meet up with the girls , we can be even more happy together . woooo ! Oh, and all the best for your attachment .
Pisces rocks ! Love ya.
Was searching through my messy files for the respective 2 pictures , and I found this mega-classic picture during Secondary school (!!) . classic to the max worrrrxzxzx ! I vaguely remember someone's feet was near my boob area and the "peaceee" sign was alllll overrr the place in ALOT of those zaman uniform pictures . If I were to keep this in an album , confirm it will be covered with thick dust underneath what other albums I might not remember having in the first place .

and so tomorrow marks the day we are looking forward to after 11am . Hahaa I dropped my calculator twice today and I pray hard it will still hang on till tomorrow . After tomorrow , can pass back my brother's calculator (dunno how the hell he survived without one) , burn all the past year papers and notes , give back my sister's pens and highlighters which are almost finishing muahahahha and not drink redbull for ... one month !

2009-02-21T20:54:00.004+08:00

Im 18 going on 19 soon . and then it would be the big 2 . and thinking back , i have never gotten what i have always wanted in the process of leading my life . its ok though . not everyone gets what they dream of . we try and deal with it . all i ever wanted to aim for was always being replaced by great unforgettable friends that either made an impact or made me smile just being with them (:

but now its just getting on my nerves . i appreciate the replacements but its not making me happier than i already am . sometimes the sacrifices that we have to go through in order to make some others happy is so satisfying ; especially if they are your loved ones . i wish i had gone down the path in which i wanted things to go in the name of ego-ism and pride . then again , i don't think i would be happy right now would i ? one thing's for sure ; the random and totally sudden "i love you"s from the family member is verrry heart-warming , scary and sweet at the same time that i feel like crying . haha k no lar . its just a manner of speaking .

giving up is so on my agenda right now . and start on the path that I want to . Im only 18 , i realise that . i still have a long way to go . but better now then later yea . they say prevention is better than cure . wahahha . slap me for being so egoistic and self-centered . I just praaaay and hope that i get a life-long job that i want and like. not love , like . see , im not asking for too much right ?
thank you .

2009-02-14T01:27:00.005+08:00

What is love?
Love is when you drown out all your sorrows with that one person.
Love is where you talk to each other on the phone for hours and say nothing yet you feel you have said everything.
Love is when we share good food together and enjoy each other's company; even if your loved ones eats with rice all over his/her face and doesn't realise it.
Love is when you can talk about endless topics and yet, find other things to talk about the next day.
Love is where you accept the person; flaws and all.
Love is when all the small little things matter.
Love is when you can't stop looking at that person even when they're not looking their best.
Love is when you are willing to go all out to make that him/her happy when they're down.
Love is when you're the hands, he's the fingers. You're the lips, he's the teeth. You're the.. erm body, he's the heart? Whatever. The point is ,
Love is when you are a subset of the other party (:
Love can happen anytime , anywhere , and with anyone .
William Shakespeare once said "Expectation is the root of all heartache"
You expect to fall for a random guy and have your love wishes come true? Arent guys the ones that make your heart break and make your emotions run wild on all levels imaginable?
So why not fall for your best friend? You dont need to expect for them to be there; cause they WILL be there no matter what.
So here I am, with her full approval, that from Valentine's Day onwards, I am happily attached to my buddy, Sheril Aida. Don't worry, its not legal. We're still single in another manner of speaking HAHA.
I still love 'you'. and you. and you over there; reading this.
For now, lets try to love our books, children.

2009-02-11T21:58:00.003+08:00

TEN ARE YOUS

1. Are you single - yes . i swear .
2. Are you happy - life in general ? yes yes .
3. Are you bored - with studying? very much!
4. Are you fair - i think?
5. Are you Italian - no
6. Are you intelligent - depends on which subject or topic. scientifically, no im not .
7. Are you honest - yes
8. Are you nice - yes! haha
9. Are you Irish - nono
10. Are you Asian - YES PROUD TO BE ONE

TEN FACTS

1. Full Name - Alisa bte Dhahfier
2. Nicknames - lisa, sha, sasha, ass, belo, gilerz, bacin, and ermm..others cant be mentioned here. 3. Birth place - KKH i think
4. Hair color - now? brown.
5. Natural hair style - wavy.
6. Eye color - black
7. Birthday - 14th MARCH 1990 ! ((:
(number 8 is missing.)
9. Favourite color - green green green , brown , white
10. One place you'd like to visit - too many .

TEN THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE

1. Have you ever been in love - yes
2. Do you believe in love at first sight - i dont think so
3. Do you currently have a crush? - yes hahaha !
4. Have you ever been hurt emotionally - yes
5. Have you ever broken someone's heart - honestly i dont know
6. Have you ever had your heart broken - yea i guess
7. Have you ever liked someone but never told them - yes hahahhahahahahaahhaha omg
8. Are you afraid of commitment - depends on what kind
9. Who was the last person you hugged - my cat? i consider her a human too.
10. Who was the last person you said I love you to? - Hawwei

TEN THIS OR THAT

1. Love or lust - Love
2. Hard liquor or beer - Neither
3. Cats or dogs - CATS!!
4. A few best friends or any regular friends - a few best friends
5. Creamy or Crunchy - are both acceptable ?
6. Pencil or Pen - pencil
7. Wild night out or romantic night in - wild night out . then again , depends on with who .
8. Money or Happiness - happiness. THEN money.
9. Night or day - night
10. IM or phone - phone

TEN HAVE YOU EVER

1. Been caught sneaking out - nahh. even if i tried , they'd find out just like that.
2. Seen a polar bear - yes! zoo!
3. Done something you regret - alot of times.
4. Bungee jumped - never. I want to !
5. Eaten food that fell on the floor - at times yes
6. Finished an entire jaw breaker - ahhh
7. Been caught naked - yes haha!
8. Wanted an ex bf/gf back - yep . not anymore duuhh.
9. Cried because you lost a pet - YES! We had a burial ceremony at 2 in the morning. It was sad.
10. Wanted to disappear - last time yea.

TEN PREFERENCES IN A PARTNER

1. Smile or eyes - Both ?
2. Light or dark hair - Doesn't matter
3. Hugs or kisses - Boooothhh ?
4. Shorter or taller - taller
5. Intelligence or attraction - both la aiyoo
6. Topman or Zara - no preferences
7. Funny or serious - err.. must know their limits? more to funny.
8. Older or Younger - or Same age = yes i take same age . sheesh .
9. Outgoing or quiet - outgoing . good communication is important yaw !
10. Sweet or Bad - ooo like the bad boy kind ? i loikee. add some sweetness inside thanks.

TEN HAVE YOUS

1. Ever performed in front of a large crowd - yep
2. Ever talked on the phone for longer than an hour - yepyep
3. Ever tried walking on your hands - yes! it friggin hurts!
4. Ever been to a rock concert - nono.
5. Ever been on a cheerleading team - nonono
6. Ever been on a dance team - yesyes
7. Ever been on a sports team - yessss
8. Ever been in a drama play/production - yesyesyes
9. Ever owned a BMW, Mercedes Benz, Escalade, Hummer or Bentley? - I wish .
10. Ever been in a rap video? - haha no .

TEN LASTS

1. Last phone call you made - Nurlina
2. Last person you kissed - does online kisses count ?
3. Last person you hung out with - Nurlina
4. Last time you worked - Last last sunday
5. Last person you talked to - my mother
6. Last person you IM'd - Ihsan Yadiy
7. Last person you texted - Abu Bakar
8. Last person(s) you went to the movies with - Hafiz and Ihsan
9. Last person/thing you missed - some people
10. Last website visited - postsecrets

TEN PEOPLE TO DO THIS

1. Sheril Aida
2. Erwandi
3. Erin
4. Amirah
5. Ihsan
6. Hafiz
7. Naqib
8. Valene
9. Huixin
10. Habibah

2009-02-07T23:24:00.002+08:00

Hahahahhaha got home from supper , gedebak gedebuk , and I suddenly had this .. ITCH .. or nerves or whatever they call it to just say "I LOVE YOU" to everyone online . K la exaggerating not everyone haha! But I do get this weird feeling some times .. like I suddenly appreciate the people I know more and let them know that I care for them . Like as if my life would be taken away from me sooner or later (choi arr !!) . But I do wonder whether other people get this feeling too . Yet , I feel its little miss pms here again =.= And with that , my itchy fingers went off maciam bullet to get rid of the itch . I must say , it felt reallly good after that . Like a huge load off my shoulders . Like a big sigh of relief . Like that one bright sunshine after the heavy storm . Like the feeling of freedom after taking 3 common test papers . Maybe after my exams are over , I would go around hugging people . wooo! be prepared y'all !!HAHAHA. Said I love you to marlene and she said I was siao . What if i were to hug her ? Dayyyuummm. I DO NOT want to think bout the consequences .. Y'know , at times human beings just needs to love and be loved . To know that some others out there care for them and appreciate them for who they are , not for someone they're not . And another thing , at least you know someone out there would miss you if you suddenly are not in this world for only God knows what reason . haha . K not funny .

Anyways , was watching Scariest Places On Earth with the sister yesterday night and WAKAOZ it was scarrryy~ . My sister left halfway to go 7-Eleven and I was scared shitless even though all the lights in the house were on . It was 11pm mind you . Sheesh . But that's not the point . The point is , one of the places was a mental institute and these stooopid idiotic colleged kids fooking VOLUNTEERED to investigate these places and wanted to 'feel what these people felt' . Bodoh . Basically, most of them were not keen believers in spirits and are mainly skeptics . Erm anyways , again thats not the point . The point is , it was sad how those mentally ill people were being treated . Safe to say , they were tortured . Just because they're mentally ill does not mean those senseless doctors and nurses could put 4 beds in one room and each bed is only like 30 cm apart ? One of the bodoh kids asked "what do you want?" (personally , its a stupid question because the kids should be asking themselves that) and they got a reply that clearly said "so much pain" (at that point of time in the show I was shit scared and wanted to pee so badly but was too paranoid to do so.. it was THAT scary).

Anyways , yes , they felt all the pain but was too mental to be believed by any outsiders and I bet they were being overdosed too . Worse , their so called rooms were at the basement because the doctors/nurses did not want outsiders to see them . Pure evil . Asked my sister how it feels like to be around them since she's attached at IMH one time , and she said it was totally different and you never know when you'll get slapped by them . haha k not funny again but imagine being slapped for no reason in the middle of a hearty conversation .

Calculated how much I spent on redbull for this whole month . $14.40 !! waaa NB ! With that much money , I could buy three packets of nasi ayam penyet AND just add $2.40 for the ultimate value box at KFC .

Dont worry . I neutralise my sugar contents .

2009-02-02T01:28:00.004+08:00

How wonderful life is, now you're in the world
Lets spread some love while I have the time to ! Im supposed to be studying like mad for common tests and exams but lets pretend I have alot of time on my hands . Was talking to Hafiz and how he couldn't find a date for Valentine's day [ladies out there : he's single, available and desperate . hahahahha jkjk] and how I felt that its not necessary to celebrate love on that 14th . I made my New Year's on 31st Dec at 11.20pm with a lot of love from my favourite gummy bears!! I was 40 minutes early from everyone else . So now Valentine's Day wont be any different . I'll just be 2 weeks early .. or 2 weeks late . Or whatever it doesnt matter . But my birthday is a different matter altogether nyahahahhakz
So here's my sincere love to all my friends , lovers and haters!

A video snippet off Moulin Rouge which I find is THE most romantic movie so far besides The Notebook and those timeless Hindustani shows with their nonstop in-between song items . Yaya im ~~slow~~ lagging behind but the way the show portrayed itself just got me hooked from the very beginning . And Ewan McGregor's voice ... haish melt melt melt melting melting MELTED! I'll gladly stay in on V-day and watch sappy romantic movies with a bucket of cookie dough ice cream and one box of Kleenex and take off from studying for one day if I could help it .

K back to reality , I dedicate this song to all those lovebirds out there loving each other , all those who love their friends , to those who love themselves and those about to fall in love !

I just happened to chance upon this video and it reminds me of NurShama Sidek ! haha . I miss her and the other girls . Daymnn I miss secondary school . 3 years ago , I would have slapped myself for saying that . woooo look at me now . I feel like slapping myself even more hahh .

OK! back to the books ! Honestly , im soooooo 100% determined to open a book and absorb all the info required but once you open it , its just sooooo idiotically farking wordy and black and white that you are just instantly turned off ? Am I the only one here or are there other sane beings out there in the same wavelength as me ? And I can never see the word wavelength the same way again . It will just remind me of the word frequency and my lecturer's face .

Anyways, all the best children..! Spread the lovee..!

2009-01-27T00:52:00.003+08:00

Its only been 27 days in and alot of things are different in many ways I cant explain myself . Its cliche but I guess its true when they say things happen when you least expect it to . It just hits you in the face and surprises you saying "boo im here! so deal with me". No its not a problem haha . Its just one of those "decision-making" periods in life . Cheh macam faham . And one important lesson I've learnt/conclusion I have made lately is that ; who gives a sheet about what strangers think about you . All that matters is that your close friends are there wit you , safe , sound and happy . When they fall , you feel like falling too . When they feel like crap , you feel like crap too . And I find some people so rude and selfish at times that I believe the world is overpopulated with this sorta humans its sad sometimes . Especially during those MRT episodes where kiasu Singaporeans go rushing , more like running to get a seat . Even to the extend of pushing away a toddler and a mum and omg I feel like bitch-slapping her smirking sooo not chio face with her quite nice silky dress . But who gives a dayymmn bout her dress with her attitude like that . SHE SMIRKS ! And another man running hahhaha he literally ran I swear it was quite funny and he smirked after getting that seat . But when he saw my 5 cent face I gave him , his face changed to those child face that gets caught stealing candy kinda face HAHAHAHHA so kental siaaa . I find this post useless .

Anyways , to be honest , I would truly miss my classmates if we were to ever go our separate ways . Considering that our attachment would begin soon enough and exams are around the corner , the time to be spent with each other gets lesser each time . Yet, the thought of getting into the "adult world" is sick . I still believe I didnt achieve much as a teenager . Im still a teenager but only with one freaking year left . This is bad .

2009-01-13T20:34:00.003+08:00

I sometimes get the feeling the weather is damn cold for some holy reason. haha. k not funny. But try this : sleep without any fan/aircon on , but leave your windows and door wide open. wooooo brainfreeze! yes i tried it with the doors close and still it was damn cold. Plus, all the mosquitoes and beetles had free entry. dah sah bodoh. Considering i have a major problem with beetles, I have to say Im proud of myself for not suffocating one for once.

Oh , and the amount of bullying I receive per week from my dear classmates is taking its toll on me. Im currently suffering from hypertension and excessive mistreatment. Ayyub, I know you are reading this quietly without tagging, idiot . So please , you owe me lunch for 1 week . Roti john another week . Its not enough to cover up for what I have suffered but there is always my birthday . wahahaahaaaaaaa .

And once again , reality strikes . Its one of those days/weeks where everything decides to fall to pieces and you can do nothing 'bout it but accept it with grace, an open-mind and no complaints . Ahh well . Its not everyday that you get what you want in your "wants" list but rather have to aim on your "needs" list instead . Its sometimes difficult to steer yourself away from all those little luxuries . In the end , what matters in the long run is what relieves you in the end . A friend of mine said that being unhappy for a long period of time is not worth it . In the end , you still have to deal with it and lead your life . You might never know what the future might bring . Its true . I just hate the fact that sometimes life could be such a bitch , you'd wish you could just run away, far, far away and not have to go through with it. Haaha. Yep , your life is a bitch. So is everyone else's . Having recession around the world is not enough. Life decides to bring recession right outside my doorstep. To be honest , its the greatest wake up call I could get actually .

2009-01-06T23:33:00.002+08:00

I want to go rock climbing .
But everytime I reach the top , look down , I start to tear .
Next , I want to go bungee jumping .
And then after that , maybe travel with the circus for a month .
Learn to eat fire and fly 10m in the air .
Have a troll as a best friend and a monkey as a pet .
Then right after that , go down to America and hug Nelly .
Go I dunno where , find Lee Hom , hug him next .
Come back to Asia , find Anuar Zain , hug him too .
Come back to homegrounds , hug the boy tight , hug my family tighter,
buy 3 trolleys full of delicious food , rent dvds ,
call over ALL my close friends , even if they are strangers to one another
and watch movies and bond over the 3 trolleys of food .
Now wouldn't that be nice ?

2009-01-06T22:26:00.005+08:00

2009 has come and so far nothing hoo-haa has happened..
- except for the fact that I keep dozing off in every lecture BUTBUT I still absorb what the teacher said . I swear .
Its like some superpower where I can just sleep yet learn things at the same time (?) yarr you might say "whatever sia alisa".
I know . I think its stupid too but its working !
- my dear classmate , Gek kuan , decided to treat me like her dog boyboy and hug me and mess up my hair and starts cooing at me every time I talk to her . Its official . Im her ____ .
- John Travolta's son passed away . Its got nothing to do with me I know but I just felt the sadness and loss .
May his son rest in peace .
- I experienced my first ever bus breakdown in the history of travelling to NYP for the past 2 years today with my dear boy !! He was obviously n.o.t happy . Quite upset actually. But may God bless 2009 cause I finally experienced it WOO ! I wanted to keep the complementary ticket but sadly , the bus driver took it and tore it into half right before my eyes ....................
- I got a job that has my classmates working in it . Who doesn't love that kind of job ?
Even if I have to see them 6 days instead of the routine 5 .
- and I have never been more in love ever since .. never !! (:

Hope your 2009 wasn't that bad . All I wish for 2009 is for things to go back to the way life was before but I know im asking for the impossible . Nothing is impossible . But I realise that some things are . Especially when the world has been filled to the brim with ignorant, selfish human beings who are blindly forsaking their very own grandchildren and rude unmindful people are becoming the norm nowadays . Try walking through the streets of town and you will see what Im talking about .
A simple "thank you" or "Im sorry" would not kill you . chis .

2008-12-28T20:36:00.018+08:00

wassssup mun !

tomorrow start school !! haha. sorry to be such an ass about it and REMINDING that tomorrow , Monday , 29 freaking december , school starts ! woo. hoo. excited . very .

ok NOW let me wish everyone out there a HAPPY NEW YEAR ! (:

A new start on life . A fresh new outlook . New look maybe . I was thinking of a new look for the new year and a fresh start . God knows what my itchy mind might want . I hate long hair btw . Ironic i know . Ive always felt that long hair is a nuisance anyways ...

where was I ? ahh yes . Meet more new friends? New grades please . Better ones , thank you .

and.. whatever whatever . Not as if my resolutions would be ticked off one by one once I achieved it or what . Like they say , "take it as it comes to you". And take it like a man! Dont be a wuss about it and let people step on you ! ok? ok!!

ok! the best way to end your 2 weeks holidays is to spend the 2 whole days with your best bud at sentosa , zoo and night safari! And I really mean the whole day. Have I told you how much I love her for it? Yes I love Aida very much !! yaya I know Im a cheapo . Its widely known that I am . I love cheap stuff. Especially those free ones ? yea thats the best . Considering I havent touched foot in the Zoo since primary 5 and never went to Night Safari before and the Sentosa beaches is the only area I stepped into , I was like some innocent child exposed to Charlie's Chocolate Factory . It was WOAA FUNN SHITT !!

hahahha Thanks Aida! I owe you ... my another year in Poly ! Remind me to be nice to you . nyahakz.

So these are the bunch of people that lightened up my 2 weeks holidays and truly made it a holiday! A good start to the new year . No I take that back . I bet tomorrow we'll get our RS results back . HAHAHAHAHH ok i take everything back . I am going to be such a wuss tomorrow ... with low self-esteem and no one to look forward to in school . and attachment . I hate 2009 already .

ahh then my contact lense decided to a bitch and make me look like a one-eyed freaaak with one pink eye ; tears and this white stuff oozing out every few minutes . eeww disgusting I know . Thank goodness I have a wonderful cousin who I sometimes think has part of my brain with him cause its scary how alike our mind works ? Then again , I guess it all runs in the family haha . With bawang nose and huge pouty lips . I just wonder how in the world I ended up with small slit-ty eyes ...

Alisa's Look On Life

First thing's first . Spread the love y'all !!

Spread it to everyone who you love who loves you , family , friends , pets , animals , strangers !

Love them for who they are ; not for who you want them to be .

Love them with all your heart cause you never know what might happen .

Love till you cant love no more !

Don't ever forget your loved ones thats gone ; up there looking down upon you .

Carve them in your hearts .

And not forgetting your roots yo !

Take challenges! Overcome your fears and go for what you want to achieve!

I thought I overcame my fear of heights by taking the cable car but noooooononono . The skyride at sentosa scared the SHIT out of me ! I was paranoid for the whole ride . Though Aida might not be able to see that cause , ehem , I was trying to put on a brave front . haha!

and yea . I achieved my dreams of taking part in a fashion design competition in 2008 but im hungry for moree !!

Whatever you're doing , give it your all !

Stretch your limits till you cant stretch it no more !

At times , the results might surprise you . In a nice kinda way (:

Watch your back at all times.. shiat , the world is turning evil right now people ! And please give a helping hand wherever it is needed . You never know when you will need one in turn someday .

Last but not least , Laugh alot!! What is life without laughter?? A black and white world . What is the world without friends to laugh with ? A lonely black and white world . haha k whadever crap la horrr..but yea . I truly believe that laughter is the best medicine . Go try it sometime .

Yea I guess thats all folks !

Happy New Year ! (: Screw my resolutions haha . Come on 2009 . Bring it on !

And one more thing before I forget ;

I miss you . and you . and you .

2008-12-25T21:03:00.009+08:00

Theres so many times she let you down

So many times she's played around
But believe her when she said they dont mean a thing

Everywhere she goes , she thinks of you

Every song she sing , she sings for you

It hurts for her , she knows it hurts for you too

Now's the time for her to leave you

One more time now let her kiss you

Close your eyes and she'll be on her way

She's still your pal , she's still around you

Dont cry now , it'll just upset you

Smile for her ; she misses you everyday too

She has never thought to care this much

never thought until she found you

Its weird now , we know , but both of you'll get through

She wants the talk to go on repeat

Over and over again ; on repeat

With the rain that came along with it

Both of you are not ready to let go

Its too sudden ; too fast to let go

You know ? She cant take your tears

That bond is so hard to break

Its even harder to not hug you tight

I hate that part right there...

2008-12-24T21:31:00.014+08:00

21st Dec . The day we went to Botanical Garden , watched the match at Kallang Stadium on a super last minute basis , Singapore got thrashed and I heard Lina and Rabia cursing the way I have never heard them curse before in my life of knowing them . I had wished that the heavens would open up and swallow me . You do not want to know the gory and yucky details . Yep, a quick summary of 21st . 10 more days to 2009 . How wonderful .
Ouh , and the two vietnamese couple that dared to sit among the angry Singaporean fans , my goodness I so understand how you feel but dayummmmm thank goodness you're still alive people . sheeesh .I would like to declare that we did the cupcakes ourselves! It was umm umm yummehh!! Thanks to Rabia and Mira and their kampung-kampung talk yang so tidak perlu ye mak nyah . haaha.HAHAHAHAHAHHA! k sorry dont kill me ; but I lovee this picture . It just makes me laugh to see rabia's constipated face , lina's replica of a mouse/rabbit/whatever , and them two lesbians expressing their true love for each other. So you see my few faithful readers out there who got nothing better to do than read my blog , I have wonderful friends .. who love themselves . HAHA! and I love them laa !!The shots taken started decent enough..
....
..
.
.
.
.So yea we couldn't think of what poses to do besides spastic ones ...
.
.
.
..
.
..
.
. The things we come up with . The rest of the pictures are too .. obscene . Maybe if im not too lazy , I will update it in facebook . Its botanical gardens for goodness sake . All we can see are .. trees and more trees . And the band took damn long to prepare . And there was this one super short tree that was almost the same height as Rabia I swear ! The picture is not with me but its super cute I tell you . But other than that , nope , nothing out of the ordinary happened except that I was too excited to go Kallang Stadium and we only needed to pay 2 bucks ! wooo. thank goodness rabia knows how to bribe people and look cute while doing it .

So here's a belated birthday wish to Erin Azierah and an advanced birthday wish to Nurlina !!!

Its been a train ride full of memories . Be happy with what you have and try to look on the bright side of things if life's being a total bitch aite ? Pass the love around !!

2008-12-17T01:56:00.005+08:00

There was this period of time in life when we wake up early in the morning without alarm clocks,
bathe without having to use facial foams ,
kiss our parents on the cheeks a million times ,
play games without having to worry about tests coming up next week ,
step out of the house without having to check whether your phone is with you or not ,
getting ready to go over to your grandparents house and look forward to their spicy indon meals ,
play tag in the field without worrying about knocking into people walking in the now newly-renovated walking path in the park ,
when playing outside was more fun that catching the next episode of spongebob ,
and the luxury of sleeping early just to wake up early next morning and not feel pressure to grow old.
No matter how hard I try to do all these things all over again ,
its just not the same anymore .
Its not that we're growing old ;
its just that circumstances change us .
And personally , I feel.. its so blardyy sucky .

2008-12-16T23:35:00.006+08:00

Hello wonderful people!
(:

Like they say , pictures say a thousand words .

ouh and the last picture , the third mini-pic contains THE most ugliest fcukface ever(!!) not saying that the rest are not ugly ; they are ! haha. but they are still within the limits and not too fcukityface-ish HAHAHA. But can you tell we're happy ? yes we were !

ouh and the second last picture . haish . Once in a bluemoon will you get to see pictures of your two best friends from different worlds (haha macam faham!) sitting on either side of you and making you shrink in embarrassment when they both decide to be like hyenas at the same ungodly timing . But its okayy . Like I said , once in a bluemoon !

and I got a confession .

I miss working. I miss hiding in the storerooms. I miss disturbing the supervisor that irritates the hell out of me when we got nothing better to do. I miss this customer aunt that came to my department just to see how I was doing. She so sweet. I miss yelling across to my colleagues at the other departments when there are no customers. I miss the rush and hullabaloos. I miss the pay. The pay was good. Real good. I miss the gossips that went around. I miss my colleagues that eventually turned into friends. I miss the aunts I worked with that quarrelled non-stop in the storeroom and thinking that people wont be able to hear them. They are the most adorable couple of aunts that care for others alot. I miss them. I actually miss stock-take believe it or not! Just because Im short I have to be the one climbing the stairs. But I still miss it though.

If I say I want a job thats exactly like this one , I should be kidding myself.

ok serious stuff , I got a confession to make .

I need a job .

Kay, another confession .

everytime I think of Semestral Project 3 , I feel like crying . Hahahahaha. No ShyttXzXzxz =.="

2008-12-12T00:30:00.004+08:00

Watching Muallaf made me eager to watch other independent films from other countries , even if its from unknown backgrounds with foreign scripts and weird characters . So long as the storyline is captivating , its not an action film with flying men and their bombs , and there are English subtitles ; im totally up for it ! So they say this film is controversial and what-nots , but personally , ITS THE BOMB ! The strong bond between the two sisters , the collision of religions and those moments where you can't help but laugh in the midst of crying over the scene before . Ok so I cried . Its a reaction . Emotional reaction . Reactions happen . I wish I had a stronger bond with my sister . But if she ever kisses me on my cheeks five times in a row like the elder sister in the show does to her younger sister , that will be day when time stands still and snow starts falling in sunshiny Singapore .
Picturehouse has got damn cool comfortable seats wOrZx ! and damn small , so if you happen to whisper a comment to your friend , i bet you atleast half of the theatre could hear what you said . No kidding .OH ! This wood game that you see , its damn addictive !! Think we spent almost an hour in the shop since aida had to find some christmas presents for her friends , and the game is addictive i tell you ! and I am proud to say , I won FIRST ayyub . nyahahhahakz . admitting your loss is a sign of sincerity . HAHA ! amekk kaooo~ anyhoooos , chanced upon this link about "The Truth About Six Pack Abs" . The author a Certified Nutrition Specialist , certified Personal Trainer (CPT) , keeps insisting that crunches , situps , leg lifts and other ab exercises does not work at all in reducing the fats around your tummy area . But oh my gooodness his introduction to his book is sooooooooooooo dragggggggggggggggggyyyyyyyyyyyy nakkk mamposss andddd he keeeeeeps draggggggginngg onn and onnnn that ab exercises doesnt work and that we , being gullible human beings , has been cheated into buying those slimming pills and treadmills and showing emails sent by successful readers of his book , but **** , get to the point uh brudder !
Sekali he did not even state a single thing bout his own personal regime and that we have to order it online because apparently his program is not available in stores ; only accessible through website .
*%@&!!!^*#
Wasted 30 minutes of my life .
not that im trying to get six pack abs or whatever , it was just pure curiosity .
So Alicia , forget about waiting for it to hit the stores .
Its not going to happen .

2008-12-11T00:30:00.004+08:00

RS kurangajar nak mampos !!!!

ok now that that is over and done with , i cannot wait for holidays i cannot wait for holidays i cannot wait for holidays i cannot wait for holidays its already here but not officially . Tomorrow it officially starts . GEREK~ .

lina , date me date me date me ! its really ok to put ahmad one side for atleast one day you know NYAHAKZ joking ...
san and fiz , jamming session FASTER ! hahahahha macam faham ...
Cuz , whens our chinatown fabric hunt happening ?

i cannot wait for 21st i cannot wait for 21st i cannot wait for 21st i cannot wait for 21st
26th 27th 26th 27th 26th 27th i love aida i love aida i love aida i love freee stuff free free free
muallaf tomorrow muallaf tomorrow muallaf tomorrow omg omg omg
i need money need money need money

Singapore vs. Indonesia on tv made me feel guilty watching cause I had maths and CA the next day . To think I dont even understand maths that much at 11pm and paper was at 8.30 am. Kianchong mode : FULL MODE TO THE MAX LA wakaoz ! ok la no . Best part was when the indonesian coach got damn pissed at his players HAHAHAHHA now thats what you call sports entertainment !!!

Geez, I feel I should forever be indebted to Daniel's group for not leaving me hanging there , slowly killing myself until this sem is over . By which , if you calculate , I would have been dead by then . Talking about dead and calculations , my calculatorSSS are dying . Literally . Calculators should never be operated by solar energy . never .

k whatever . I still cannot CANNOT get over the fact that the last question for maths was damn fcuking easy . And I did it at 9.59am . Bloody Poisson (!!!)

2008-12-05T21:24:00.006+08:00

Thank God I have my wonderful poly mates with nice big hearts .

Thank God for my secondary school mates who are close nearby and there for me .

Thank God I opened up to Mr.Chong about my ' unenthusiasm ' for this course .

THANK GOD HE UNDERSTANDS AND SUPPORTS ALL THE WAY!

[From now on, I can forgive you for replacing Mr.Chuan..anytimeee]

Thank God people were smart enough to create Redbull and caffeinated drinks .

Thank God I found you .

amin .

Earlier today, being the nice sister that I naturally am , I adviced my brother who went and put the bowl made of melamine ware inside the oven while cooking maggi mee . Naturally , I told him the truth . That melamine has caused deaths and that he would have to be operated once consuming melamine . Obviously it was partly a lie .

But his expression : priceless !! HAHAHAHAHA.

so karma will get me back .

Fine , so get me .

Nothing would make me anymore upset than I already am after handing in RS paper .

I was so confident before entering the ltq , i swear .

the feeling after that : worthless ! pfffffft .

2008-12-01T22:59:00.002+08:00

Flu Bug List

muahhhahaahaha !

ok. Im supposed to be doing the maths assignment on Excel but it got way too boring you see . And I am proud to say that I did that list on EXCEL !!! *pat on the back*

so you see the unfortunate state my wonderful class is in . So im guilty for most part of it . AND IM SO SORRY ! I SWEAR IM SORRY !

sorry for causing aida and marlene to skip school today .

sorry to others for making them ill during the weekend .

sorry to my cats for running away from them this whole week due to their blooooody furs .

sorry to everyone for my trumpet showcase .... I cant help it y'know .

I still cant help it if I want to see those unaffected get infected . woooooooo~!

2008-11-29T14:16:00.004+08:00

'Tis the season

finally the weekends are here!
hmm lets see . so far this week , I have broken my own record of not going online at night for three consecutive nights . *pat on the back* then again, i used that precious time to sleep . blame the school . huhu . ok fine , and myself cause apparently i got no self-discipline .

School has been sick . Literally haha . There's a friggin 'bug' being passed around thanks to whoever started it . Its like being in a checklist and whoever has already gotten it , "checked-put a tick beside your name". I got checked yesterday . Looking on the bright side of things , I cant wait to see whose next hehee . ahh well , 'tis the season to fall ill . and skip school !!

eh eh eh ! who wants to go watch "TWILIGHT" and "MUALLAF" with me me me !?!?!!?
kayy la Aida , I give discount I watch twilight with you ok~~ or "Bolt" or whatever movie you want as long as I get to watch it with you . see , im so nice and caring and i l-l-l-lovee youuu . nyahahahahahah.

oh yea . fcuk . my right eye is f**king swollen for an hour now and tearing up every 2 minutes and super red like the belacan i eat every week with that $2.50 rice and black pepper chicken and kangkong (its damn nice by the way . at South canteen gogo must try . $2.50 only) cause I go and f**king sleep with my contact lense on . Thank God ! it didnt get to the other side of my eyeballs or decided to stick itself to my eyes . woooo scaryy shyyts !

Throughout this week , I've realised how people who you least expect to be your saviour is right there to save you . And dem people are those that you dont quite click with nor you usually talk much with . or worse , you despise them . They come at the times when you are most in need of help and it just feels so .. nice . Feels like no matter what you face in this world , theres atleast SOMEONE , no matter who , would be there to help you . Even if that someone is your buddy or your worse nightmare . and no this is not something that I read out of a book or from a movie , it just happened to me on 2 separate occasions . I must say , I felt quite at ease with their help .

And talking about movies , more than half the class went down to AMK Hub to catch Madagascar 2:Escape To Africa . Its . damn . funny . maciam nak tergolek-golek on floor laughing . Our dear Marlene decided to take the time to sleep in the cosy movie theatre and she still had the cheek to say the movie was boring . She could have wasted that 6 bucks on me or on Aida's camera fund but noooooo she decided to use it for an hour and 40 minutes sleep in the theatres . Haha you know we still lurve you Marmar .

And yesterday was Night Committee Day !
To celebrate Ahmad Salleh's 18th birthday , we went to Swensen's and then off to roam around pasir ris with the intention to play bowling but sadly , it was super packed . Poor Hisham haha . He looked really very sad . Tkpe satu hari kite main la ok . Next year ke~~

See the look on her face ? She did the card with much care and loveee . awww~ haha K Izz not in any frames . Tapi itu dia Birthday Boy . One damn lucky bugger . Hope you like my present ! HAHA . All credits to Lina for planning the whole thing wooo.
Next night committee : Simpang Bedok . Ahmad's treat! =D

Common tests hasnt even started and im already thinking bout the holidays .
This is bad .
Very bad .
Waa jialat uhh .

2008-11-23T02:22:00.004+08:00

***edited

Have I told you lately how much I adore you ?

How you have always been with me through thick and thin ,

through laughter and tears ,

rain or shine and through all kinds .

You once asked me whether I'll stay by your side ,

day and night ,

if you were to ever fall prey to a disease .

I didnt answer you ,

'cause I figured you knew

what it means to be friends wit' you .

Have I told you lately how much you mean to me ?

How you're treating me like an equal now ;
Now that I have gone through what you used to be .

Remember that one night ?

We went to 7-Eleven and argued on the way home .

Still feel that blow on my face ;

I teared and my heart raced .

Now it seems you have what I have .

You feel how I felt ,

8 years ago . But worse .

I gave you advice , yet you didn't listen .

You never listen .

Yet , you never seem to complain .

Complain about wasting your youth away ;

being plain .

You have gone through alot of !

And im in awe over how you manage to survive through it .

Have I told you lately how much I hate you ?

No ? Cause I dont . Never have .

And I hope I never will .

You kill me at times ,

How you always leave your things hanging around ,

With the music blasting out loud .

You pamper ,

You splurge ,

You have no urge !

I hold my tongue and grasp my throat ,

just to avoid from talking back .

Still you yack and yack ,

But I know you got my back .

Have I told you lately how much I treasure you ?

I admit, I've changed .

Changed for the better .

You make me laugh when I didn't even tell you im upset .

You make me worried when you look sad .

You know what's funny ?

I don't know you , yet I feel as if I own you .

Remember when you cried ?

I just sat on the other side , not knowing what to say .

Remember when I cried ?

You looked lost , and struggled with something comforting to say .

I shared my dreams , you shared yours .

You wanted to open a shop ; all yours .

After school , everyday , I'd go your house .

And play with your cat .

We were 12 then . The age I saw a dead rat .

Will you call me again ?

At the spur of the moment ?

You always do that .

Everytime I see you in school ,

we'd do our little secret handshake

and dance to that one favourite re-make .

You always have something to share ,

no matter how silly it was .

I once said " May our 12 years of friendship last "

You said " no, 13 years .. and counting "

wow . that fast .

I didn't think you'd remember my birth-date .

You called me , said something was up

But you passed me my present instead .

Remember when you taught me how to strike a curve ball ?

It curved and distorted my window and all .

Remember that wrestling match we had ?

haha . It turned out quite bad .

When we were just 9 years old

damn I miss those library trips we took

those cards and those books.

Have I told you lately how much you piss me off sometimes ?

Oh hell you do .

I cant help but get pissed

What with the busy schedule and reports to do .

Im sorry if it stings ,

Im sorry , I did not mean to .

You almost seem like my own sisters .

You've seen my best at its worst .

You've seen my tear-ups and my perks .

And faced with all those kinds of jerks .

I pray this friendship lasts 'till our lasting years

reminiscing on our joys , sorrows , laughter and fears .

Have I told you lately how much you make me miss you ?

I leave you and I yearn for you ;

5 minutes later .

You remind me of someone

Someone that taught me things that no one else did .

But you showed me something else better

Love , something someone never showed , never did .

What was once simply interacting

turned out to be life-altering

You make me laugh , at every antic you do .

You had me smiling , at every sms you send .

You make it real for me , at every possibility there is .

You hang on to every word I say ,

You are the best part of my day .

Have I told you lately how much I love you?

I do.

Every single one of you .

2008-11-13T22:27:00.002+08:00

Vincent , that irritatingly independent bugger , went to Kanye West's concert .
Lina , all-rounder beyloz , got to go for Rihanna's concert .

Both best friends of mine .
Whats in it for me !?
Whats going on with this world .
Huh huh huh ?
Doesnt mankind care anymore ?
Im so pitiful right now , even staring at the TV with nothing on seems like its what humans do almost everyday .

So ...
who has got what it takes to go for Kylie Minogue's concert on 25th Nov ??
So far to me , she has faced the toughest challenges in life like facing her cancer and surviving to tell the tale , least controversial entertainer who does not make most of her living by having her pictures up in tabloids , coolest sounds (!!) that you will want to dance to even if you diedie feel like not dancing , and she is sexy yet cute yet amazingly hott all in one . Now who could dig that?!

I talk much like as if I can get the bloody expensive tickets in the first place . Bwahaha .
ouh well . just like the saying goes, "Go for what you can and want to achieve in the long run , not for something that is short term and meaningless at the end of the journey." i.e, have the end in mind.

hahaa ok so the "saying" came from me . If you dont get it , its alright . I dont expect anyone to actually .

2008-11-09T13:49:00.002+08:00

My wonderful PMS decided not to creep up on me . Amazing . But the f**king week decided to .

waaa thanks ar !!!

There was Mr. ------ who made me say " I hate you laa" to his face and yet he laugh hahahuhu like I was joking . Wakaoz . Heart rate go up up up you knowwwwww .

And then there was the sister who went God knows where for 3 days straight , not coming home once and , whoppee , decided to take my white sweater with her . I swear if it smells of smoke and has stains on it , even one DOT of ANYTHING , I am sooo going to get a pair of sneakers with her waitress money . Plus , her vest will be mine ! muahahhhaa .

Oh , and I unconsciously spend my early part of Sunday hovering at my window watching those malay couples and their void deck wedding . Their wedding is quite cool actually . Abit noisy and off-the-top compared to the ones I usually observe before this , but yea something new . Once that got boring , there is always the chinese opera right beside them . I repeat , RIGHT BESIDE THEM . mampos . ok la , the chinese opera ended yesterday night . But today they are taking their make-up off !!! coool or whad ! confirm plus permanent chop it will take like a few hours just to remove their lipstick .

And BPA is left to rot on the study table . Dont blame me . Blame the noiseSS thats coming in right outside my bedroom window .

Ouh great . Now both is starting at. the. same. fooking. time.

May BPA be finished studying by tonight and the throbbing headache in that poor little head of mine stop soon . Amin~~~

2008-11-07T01:48:00.004+08:00

"Life conspires sometimes to push us , blindfold , into situations we thought we would never end up in . However much we think we know what we want , however much we plan for a perfectly designed future , fate has a way of shoving the unforeseen in our faces and presenting us with a whole new set of opinions."

- Author Jackie Clune; "Man of The Month Club"

uh huhh.. so true . To me atleast .

2008-11-04T23:47:00.002+08:00

How in the world do you upload music ?? That has no videos. Ayyub, I did not upload, I repeat, did NOT upload so Dont.You.Dare. siapa la aku kan~~ waahahha.

anyhooos.
finally met Huixin after so many years ! Still the sweet, noisy, irritating , talkative ex-colleague I knew few years back and we still click ! i loikee . Though I felt like there are no common topics to talk about like last time , but it turned out otherwise . See what happens if you do not meet up with your old friends . You become stale and start having 'normal' boring convo . Even if you know there is a lot to say and be said ; everything ends up being bottled up and thrown into the big blue ocean..never to be open again . awww . Then again , its hard . Planning a dinner date with Hawwei was hard enough , whats with his monday blues (-.- pfffft) and my night classes , imagine planning a class chalet with half the class gone God knows where .

Haha , I know one is already out there serenading girls with his new-found talent and rocking up a storm . You Go Girl !
And the handful would be killing their braincells with A Levels . Here's wishing them all the best ! Make your mama proud y'all ! haha . And I could just imagine McDonald's being seized by students with their laptops and calculators at 2 in the morning . Woo memories .

oh oh after school today , Allan Goh Chye Soon and I exchanged scars on our body . woohoo. Both of us were excited somehow ...... dont ask me why . oh yes. Today is Eric's birthday! And like every month , like an un-called for tradition , bought a cake and celebrate ! Basically that was the happy point for the whole of today cause my stuffed up nose decided to stuff up and be a blardy nuisance . which in turn leads to me having alot of infectious particles , that would then lead to my mates being contaminated , and in conclusion , i should be sterilised with panadol which did not work by the way . Wow . If Ms Selina sees this , she would so damn proud of me for listening during bio lab . HHAHA .

bottomline is : Next post then I would post up a poem that has been prolonged since I dunno when . This post is just something to warn Ayyub . Please have mercy on me . (:

2008-10-30T22:16:00.002+08:00

Saya Sangat Suka Sama Thursday !

I had no idea why I say that sentence out loud considering I got a teeny weeny minute problem with my S's and now my screen got salivas all over =.=

Firstly, here's Happy Birthday to Ainul Hikmah !! Hope you enjoyed your day girl (:
Its YOUR day today wooo (:

0900-0950
~~Sempro 3~~ Ok , so we did have sempro but it felt like 10 minutes. I swear I was listening in his class even though all I could think about was eating breakfast after that. Who wouldn't, you tell me?

1010-1200
~~Cost Accounting~~ Instead, half of the class went off to Bishan and had breakfast at LJ/Subway until 1. Apparently, some over-hyperactive person was too excited about playing BishiBashi to the point of having gum stuck on her hair. tsktskk. the tragedy of it all...k next.

1-3
~~Maths~~ It felt more like , "catching-up session with your classmates and take out your games to play" time. Sincerely , honestly , with all purity of my dear heart , I wanted to listen to the lecture. Unfortunately, I was surrounded by friends who was sleepy(marlene), bored(aida), restless(ayyub), irritating(allan). Unlike hardworking people, like me for example. HAHAHA. ok la no. I was just oblivious to the screen thats all. hehh.

other than that, nyeh nothing out of the ordinary occurred.

Only that poor Benson lost his squash racket, few of us decided to spark up a plan to eavesdrop on the arguing couple at the mrt station, and I collided into a lamppost while talking to marlene, rebounded and hurt my blardy ribs . #$*@^!! They really should put tall lamppost next time , ~~iderts~~.

2008-10-28T07:00:00.004+08:00

Just One Of the Guys

Before anyone starts thinking otherwise, I would like to quote from a dear friend of mine. About how "girls liking girls is like nothing, its like a guy liking a girl. Except that sensual, emotional feeling wont be there. Just that we, being girls, look at girls 'cause of their looks and how we ourselves long to look as beautiful as they do and the society dont see nothing wrong with that. Guys liking guys is a different story altogether. You get me?"

Yes. I. Do.

So I can safely say that I am falling head over heels with Joyce Hyser! Her role as Terry Griffith to be exact. wakaoz!!
I watched that show countless times to the point that its getting on my mum's nerves and disrupting my studying plans over the weekend. Dont blame me, she is just too gawddamn handsome playing Terry Griffith, a popular girl in high school who transformed herself into a boy just so she could become a journalist. Good-looking, determined to get his/her dreamjob and going through whatever it takes. Such a turn-on laa. Scary thing is, the suavity and charm that she exudes in the show seems so WOOOW. Like those kind of moments where you just cannot take your eyes off the TV screen and off that face even for a second kinda moment. Then you will start thinking, "why must he be a girl in real life? she is too handsome to be someone with boobies and vajajays"

mind you , this is not the first time im feeling this way towards the same sex.
HAHAHAHA. no. Im not you-know-what. ouh c'mon. Let us all be open-minded here, kids.

Talking about being open-minded, I woke up this morning around 4ish with an 'open mind' [totally no link about being open-minded but whatever la horrrrzxzabcd]. So, the mother and the little brother , with much GAH and hugagaga , was full of enthusiasm to go jogging for the first time in all the 19 years we have been staying in front of the wonderful park. Lucky for them , my school starts at 12. TSK. So they forced me out of bed, yes, they just HAD to take my pillow away and off the bloody fan. Gedebak gedebuk then I could not find my other half of my running shoes. So yes, being the mother and all, she just HAD to ransack and clean out the entire store room. Firstly, to find my shoe no matter how long it takes and secondly, to clean the store room. The whole blardy store room. Tick tock tick tock, in the end I used whoever's shoe it was and off we went. Sadly, my brother did not run and my mum went around brisk-walking while poking fun of the old uncles/aunties that meet up for their early exercise session. If my mum keeps this up every morning , I really pity those old people. They are so innocent you see. Whats more, I really pity me.

This is what we call family y'all.
ahhhhh the love.

2008-10-26T00:11:00.006+08:00

Damn, You're My Favourite Drug

( '........ ... .........' )
I wrote you a poem
carved deep in that small tree
on Skyway Avenue.
Run along now.
It'll stay.
We'll then take a trip to Timbuktu hereafter;
where we can dream our own dreams
and away from preying eyes.
Run along now.
Im still here.
I'll stay.

A-SQUARE , featuring Alisa and Ayyub. New album sales out now !! haha.
Stupid call calls for stupid measures. Those are one of those rare moments where a friend just calls you up just to sing over the phone to tunes that we know the lyrics to. If not, there is always azlyrics.com hahahahaa

ayyub kental full stop dan suara kau sumpah is very sumbang. haha joking sista.
not saying that mine is not. just 'no comment' bout it =D
next up, hindustani songs !!

and to prove marlene's point is true, yes i did talk to her breasts for a good long period of time. Its disgusting. Sadly, she was not listening to whatever that I said. 'She' referring to Marlene by the way.

And I pray, pray hard that school wont be a bitch for the next few weeks.
Especially Sempro. I used to like him, but come to think 'bout it now, he gets on my nerves the minute he steps into the room with that "10 minutes grace and 'donate 50 cents' punishment" rule.

Bodoh benar.

2008-10-21T19:46:00.004+08:00

When I Grow Up..

Browsed through my secondary school's english composition, comprehension and REPORT-WRITING that have collected infinite dusts and silverfishes and all of a sudden, like a bright flashlight shining through the dark lingering cloud, I want to major in English. HAHHA. (amazingly I still keep my english file and artfolio yet, im taking a lovely science course. yesyes how ironic. so what.)

At times, it feels so suffocating to be in a room that aspires to be technical and uniform. Alot of times, the thought of putting them into a room filled with flowery languages and getting graded just by putting your imagination on paper seems so tempting. Just so they know how it feels like to be .

oohh just the thought of it makes me smile. muahahahaha

Here's three cheers for Muhd Ayyub ! Alright gilerz kamu sudah tua . Hip Hip Hurray !
Smile big big always (:

2008-10-19T15:20:00.006+08:00

In The Shoes Of ...

Marlene Wu Qianyi.

She wants to express her delightness to the whole world when the few of us went to Ikea Tampines to get some stuff. And when I offered to blog for her, danggg she was euphoric. no kidding. Anyways, here it is. The 'eventful' friday afternoon as seen from Marlene's point of view.

So the few of us , while waiting for the malay guys to finish their friday prayers session, me, alisa, renfred,hsiang an and ignatius accompanied me home to take my backpack since I had to leave for the airport before 6. Poor Alisa had to be locked out of my house because she was afraid of my super duper cute and adorable dog, Pompom! hahahahah serves her right!

Then while waiting for the small bus to come, Alisa tried learning chinese but she failed miserably. She could not even say the word 'maw' properly without changing the meaning. Lets not get into details cause I pity this sweet innocent girl la horr.

And so, we all took 72 all the friggin way to Tampines but anyways, I will be going straight to Changi Airport so whatever ..good for me! muahahahakz! Now then the fun starts at Ikea!

I would like to say that my creativity was used to the full extent and I am quite proud of myself about it!! I somehow feel like Im on top of the world! my ego go up up up (: so yea. then after that uh wakaoz! that kuku renfred made us run after the bus for nothing lor! cannot even enjoy that long long overhead bridge journey. and to think that we took the wrong bloody bus!!! took the wrong bus nevermind. but still have to bloody squeeze in the bus! I stood right beside the bus driver sumore! waaaaa..that Renfred uh. seriously feel like ... okay nvm. Anyways, it was really fun to be spending time with a few of my classmates after all those few months of not seeing them. wheee.

Marlene should thank me for this.

and here's the very late raya photos ((:

SCL raya outing

CPT raya outingJYSS raya outing credits to Sadiq, Sheril and Erin

First week of school is over and done with. I can safely say it was partly a bitch and partly suhhweet.

I feel undoubtedly afraid of the consequences all of a sudden and its disgustingly inexplicable.

2008-10-18T01:27:00.002+08:00

Who Knew

Rest in Peace , Raihan .
All of us will definitely miss you , sweetheart.

2008-10-14T22:50:00.002+08:00

I have finally found the willpower (haha rightt) to fill this space up. School's started and somehow, i don't know how , but I feel a tad excited for it. I even bothered to get new stationeries for this sem dammit. New semester means new possibilities poppin' up and unforeseen challenges and adventures awaiting each and everyone of us! True enough? I apologise if I sound to mary poppins-ish but lets try to psych ourselves up here.
Bottomline is: ~~school~~studying still sucks , whatever goes. PSYCHH!

Thaaaannk God for lifelines called 'friends'. I LOVE them even though I get BULLIED by these lifelines 24/7 . yes , even on the phone and msn they still do attack me. I hearts these people DO YOU PEOPLE HEAR ME ? HOLLAA~ Im small I know. Its genetics y'all so dont put it on me. yes I still adore you, you and you. Amin.

ok , moving on.

I managed to not sleep during lecture ! Pro or what ?! *pat on the back*

ok, really moving on.

Theres nothing specifically interesting happening in my life. But dangg , the people around me are 'happening!". haha ahh well. What do you expect to happen in that one month? Alot, I guess.
hahaha.

2008-10-03T00:51:00.003+08:00

wakaoz ! ok im abit late by 2 days but Selamat Hari Raya AidilFitri!
so lets see. for the past 2 festive days ive only been to ... one house ! wooo !

ok rewind. come to think about it, the couple of jobs Ive had this hols only last for 3 days . and these jobs are .. not jobs . all I do is stand around and talk to "so called colleagues" and stand around again . I guess its fun if you think about how easy it is. But dammmmmnnn the boredom just KILLS full stop if you consider the f1 job, I would like to say thanks to Ros , my colleague yang sooo tidak perlu ! hahaaha , Aida and Nabihah for making me the butt of your joke for those 3-days. You people better come to me on hands and knees begging for my forgiveness !!! nyahahahahakz jokingjoking. You really should try pole-kissing .

and to Ros. girl , I enjoyed your company for those 3 days and especially on our last night , getting high on Tiger Beer and 'treasure hunting' . But please , spare me when school reopens . I am too young to handle all this bullying from you people . HAHA!

and yes aida. KIMI RAIKKONEN IS HOT !

other than that , the job experience was truly enriching to say the least . best thing is , ive polished my skills of lip-reading! hahaah

moving on . made my mum the happiest mother when me and my sister bought her a bag to show her our love and appreciation . though the cost made me have seizures just taking out the money , it was well worth it when her face lit up after she gave us a long lecture on our shopping expenditures . ahh well . the wonders of gifts ..

and my sister alia showed her muka konyok face i.e. -____-" face , when we were getting jollibean drinks and there was an ad that said

"Ginger Soymilk - Renowned for its healing properties , Soy Alia is what you can call it."

HAHHAHAHAHAHAHA !

I swear , she would have wanted to shove soybeans down the auntie's throat if she wanted to since she already has something against that auntie who , according to my sister , "is &$#*@ stingy like ****!!"

ok . back to serious stuff .

I cant seem to think of any.

Just that I feel this year's raya just doesnt seem to have any happy clouds . Just hope those happy clouds goes to those that needs it more than we do !

Once again , enjoy your holidays kids! And to those taking major exams and papers , all the best!!

2008-09-25T16:09:00.005+08:00

the music pounded loudly , yet softly in my ear ,
i heard the sweet surprises and whispers in my ear ,
so childish , yet tingling , my feelings inside ,
and i drop all the conflicts that always collide ,
you see , when im with you , the world just disappears ,
and all i can do is laugh , and forget about the tears .
when i think about you , when the world is dark and gray ,
you make all the bad things in my life , disappear and go away .
for all the things that we fight for , all our life long through ,
i would give up chocolate to sit and laugh with you .
now thats a big commitment when you think about its size ,
chocolate and pyjamas , and a tearjerker surprise .
friday nights i spend watching the tv ,
but secretly i think of you and the time you spent with me .
now i know its foolish for me to be this way ,
but hey im young and in the prime of my day .
so im going to admire all that you are ,
though we dont want to start anything , i can crush from a-far .
and you should be so lucky for me to say , i would give up chocolate to laugh with you today!!

Chocolate Kisses

Beth Hope Filius
--~--

all of a sudden , i was being reminded to the secondary school days . when I stood infront of the whole class , with the lights off and only the projector lights blinding me , singing "Stand By Me" by Ben E. King. HAHAHHAHAHA.
everyone of us were stars that day , in our own special way. hidden talent katakan hahaa yah right . i could not sing even if my life depended on it.
and the one teacher that somehow changed us and made us closer in a way I cant explain.
wonder how Mrs Kavitha is doing. hhmmm.

2008-09-22T23:17:00.011+08:00

Been working as a stand hostess.
Stand around , look pretty and make coffee for 3 days which I presume is too strong for the normal humankind to handle.

"Because ur kohpi har, I cannot sleep vor all 3 days"
"Oh really? So is that good or bad?"
"ouhouhouh! itzz vehrryvehrry good! vehhry!"
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaha -.- yahhh rrright. from then on, they only asked for "teh vif milk. nono not cream. i dont vant cream. i vant milk, milk". For goodness sake mister, its the same.
But vat to do , smile and do. Afterall, its only for 3 days.

And this little miss bimbo called Alicia. Thanks girl for the job! I admit, your bimboness was killing me softly. one day at a time. ^#%&^*@. so, she here thinks that the rabbit sweet is made from rabbits(!!) and out of the blue and shocking the daylights out of me, she wanted to drink milk out of packets of creamer. i saved myself the trouble of explaining things to her and decided to join in the fun by watching her make it. It was fun !! You should see her face hahahahaahha. As you can already imagine, the job was boring to the point where boredom does not even want to exist and poor me, my only entertainment was her. muahahhakz I still love you!

And this man in that picture. is oh. my. gawd. if only I had a hatchet..................................

anyhoos, it was a great job experience. Never thought pharmaceutical exhibitions would interest me this much. And seeing people from all over the world was like a breathe of fresh air. Their friendliness, kindness, languages is wow. Super nice people. And for your info, Alicia has a crush on a Singaporean doctor! hahaha tsktskk. He looks cute though... and girls, doing what we do best, tried every means to walk past his booth just to smile at him hahahhahahhaa so the dodo i know. we walked past thrice :D

That exhibition was filled with doctors, agents, distributors = old working people. So this does not equal to cute looking guys. What you expect us to do right. That doctor soo reminds me of Mr.Chuan anyways..sobsobb.

Rushed like some monkey on steroids after that to get to Simpang Bedok to buka with the ex-colleagues! Didnt realise how much I missed them till we met. Laugh laugh like really no tomorrow like that and I swear I felt some of my food come out from my nose from laughing too much.

so kids, lesson learnt: do not make fun of your friends when they are eating. you may never know what comes out from their nose. I learnt it. the ugly way. twicee. [ lina, diammm.]

Anndddd at last. The long awaited day finally came ! and gone in a jiffy. but the memories are here to stay bebeh! anyhooooooots, it was the same girlfriends all over again . the fantastic four . but this time around, with parental guidance.

thanks to lina's parents for the treat! supposed to eat somewhere else then change and change and change again . in the end, settled for someplace in joo chiat i-dunno-whatitsname. it caused me to get lost in a supposedly familiar place but apparently unfamiliar to me. and the wonderful phone decided to die on me so the panic button was on full mode. trauma siakk! trauma!!

the bodoh thing is, the place was only 2 turns from where i was , ~~whining~~ talking on the phone with rabia. even more bodoh nak mampos , i nearly wanted to hail a cab. hahahhaha. I bet I only had to pay $2.40. cut short, I am PROUD TO SAY i found the place . woohooo!

*give myself a pat on the back*

lepak session at the neighbourhood park filled with memories. It was nice catching up with you girls. Catching up on stories of each other to marriage to pregnancy to God knows what. Could not really care less about the time. and thanks to Rabia for the snacks! amalkan slalu beb! hurhurr

next up: hari raya! woooo. more than 4 next time please.

Buka session with Aida and Ayyub was a first with my dear poly people. And a first for Aida too ! yeay achievement! hahaa . and please , I have never known guys to be so fussy when it comes to shoppping but I guess there is.

lets have more ice-cream moments again !! i like! lets put it as "an ice-cream tradition". amaciammmm?

Buy one, share three. hahaa so cuteee.

Aww geez , I miss you.

2008-09-17T01:08:00.010+08:00

He Said , She Said

I dont know what they say to each other exactly , but according to my catological skills and interpretation of feline behaviour ( hahahhaa macam faham....), they are jealous of each other and it does not take a scientist to figure that out. Fighting for their every right to step into the house and getting to that bowl of Friskies first; the attention and love from the familiaaa; and to win the title of the most "Manja".

So there they are, battling it out on the pavement right outside the house. Showing off their individual sexy moves, look at the camera , and *clickclick* pose! chehchehhh..

After a few rounds of sexyback, loceng(bell) , the one on the left wins the first round! *yeayy everyone throws friskies in the ayer ay ayer*

And here they are. At it again . Kumbang(beetle) defending his pride, comfort and title by guarding the door himself. itu diaaa... staring battle going on. fightfightfight !!
Anyways, they never did fight. But Kumbang wins this round cause in the end loceng gets easily frightened of humans coming towards her. My sister comes around to take a picture and off she goes hhaahaha scaredy cat.

and here it is ladies, gentlemen and felines from all over! Kumbang wins this round !*dingdingding*
and poor loceng sits outside and gives her 2-cents worth of facetime....
and she was still there at 4 in the morning.
ouh well.
and so . the winner of the title "Manja" goes to... *dingdingding* Kumbang!! but he could not care less about the family love. ungrateful ball of fur. everyone hugs and kisses him and there he goes , swishing his antenna-fied tail , over to the plastic bag , jumps in and lo and behold , he decides to sleep in that tight plastic hole.
kanasai.
Moral of the Story:
There are no morals here. Just plain obnoxious acts and no love for your other species. ok wait , maybe there are morals to be learnt here. Fight for what you really want , no matter what you have to go throught to get it, and the reward you get in return is oomph-oh-so-goood!

2008-09-12T00:49:00.004+08:00

wazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzup !

ok. I have decided that since this is the holy month, I would not be a sisssypusss and will state all apologies to people concerned and to show my sincerity, this will be showcased publicly , to the whole wide world !!! its not as if my blog will be read by a whole load of people ooooohhhhhwooow but I know these people concerned would be reading , so here goes.
dont be a sissyypussss now..

1) To Nurril:
I dont know if you remember what happened to us during secondary school, and I forgot which year but I did remember it . and I am really so sorry. I did not mean for it to happen. I know I was such an arse and bitch for doing it in front of them. I have always hoped that it was a misunderstanding on my part but still, Im truly sorry. I totally understand if you do not wish to forgive me but I am trying my best not to be a sisssyypusss here. And I really am cause its been years and its taking me a long time to apologies but.. so yea. Im a sissy. and I really miss our lepak moments. soo .. all the best for your papers! You can do it girl !
You always have (:

2) To Lina:
hahahhahahaahaha ok cukop. serious business. sorry for lying to you that my family was moving house after Os and you believed me for around .. months! hahahah classic sia. you should have seen your face. it was a kodak moment. *clickclick* anyways, you know . I like to joke around. Aiyaa, mak bapak kau, mak bapak aku jugak. HAHA.
I am sorry for ... other things? I dont remember much hate. Theres alot of laughing though. Lets just keep it that way. Either way, sorry if I laughed at you for the wrong things. hahaa. You know I will always l-l-l-l-lurvee ya!

so there it is. its out. been keeping it inside for all these years and its killing me softly.
and to anyone that I have hurt lately or even last time, Im sorry. Sometimes I just like to joke around and I would not have realised that I have hurt you even if it were to present itself to my face. Im a suckaaa at apologising! And I know speaking my mind would end up in bad endings but I cant help it at times.
Me and my motormouth.

But so far, nothing else is weighing down on my shoulders and I thank God for that. And I thank God for bringing lovely people into my life at each critical stage. okayyy I dont get mushy. I hate mushy shyts. Sometimes I wish I could have been more in depth with my Indonesian roots and this is stupid , but wondered if there ever were cute hot guys in my descendants or cousins on the other side like those in the indonesian movies like those down there. seee the picture down there? uhhuhh. ok and their cultures and ethics too .

punk and classics dont spark; but I guess in this case it does

2008-09-09T00:42:00.008+08:00

Can you feel this?
This sensation that overwhelms when the past of yesteryears
sits inches away from my present age of today.
Ouh, she looks so different now.
So pretty, the past of yesteryears.
Her fingers intertwined with the significant other,
shaping their otherwise unknown future.
How are you today dear?
Its been so long since we really spoken.
And there she is, just like I know her,
the present age of today.
Sharing our stories like two aunties in a coffeeshop.
I felt it.
This sensation,
when bringing two separate worlds together..
In the most unlikely way..

And can you feel that?
That undenying beat in that little corner,
playing to the sounds of summer lovin'.
Its truly remarkable what it does to ones mind.
Its there one day, Its still there the next.
When it started, we dont know.
Hopefully theres no end, thats fo 'sho.
Its done. Love,
I surrender.
Yep, I felt that.
The whopshedooop of that beat.

Whats not to love when happiness comes breezing through your doorstep
and you dont embrace it?
What not to appreciate when we already have these necessities?
Whats not to smile when theres these angels
-called friends-
are only one call away?
Whats there to hate when you can forgive and forget?

One thing is for sure.
Nobody is alone in this world.
Everyone has a past to look back on. And an uncertain future to look forward to.
And theres atleast someone, if not everyone, right there beside you. I dont know bout you,
but thats just how I see it.
No matter how hard we try, we can never hold on to the old for too long. Sooner or later, we will have to give in to the new.
And the feeling that you feel, is priceless.
Can you feel it? Cause I did.
and Im beginning to love it.
(:

2008-09-06T23:40:00.003+08:00

Mak Joyah terlepas dari zaman 80an ! hahaa. and please. nobody can have superb front teeth like those you see.. and it could only belong to the owner of this blog ! hahahaha. shitt I look like some first-grade science teacher that all the students throw erasers at..damn. Naqib this is all your doings la dey brudder! and thanks. I know I look HOT HOT HOTT !! hahahahahah

come to think bout it, it reminds greatly of Ms.Yuen... the art teacher from ...
minus the short, sophisticated looking curls and ever-so-cheerful face that is. I wonder if she still makes the sec 1s paint bananas during lesson and shout in their faces if they mix the wrong paint colours .... poor souls. tskk.

2008-09-06T01:40:00.007+08:00

Ooooooo I have sinned today, no thanks to vincent -.- Apparently, some people are just oblivious to their own man-boobs that they truly insist are manly chest. Man and their insecurities. No wonder they are so hard and emotionless.. and egotistical. But if they are otherwise and being called gay, they want to punch you inside out like as if you have touched that one button and they turn hardcore defensive. pffft. Anyhooss , thats not the main point. The point is, I have sinned.

oh. and he literally came begging(HAAAAHAA) for help for some situation during supper earlier. A situation that only emphasizes the fact that I really do chase people away when they come after me; in the sweetest most unhurtful way possible. AND im getting danggggg gooood at it ! nyahakz. "eh alisa. I knew you were good at chasing people away hahhhaa." -.- eeediot. ouh well.. atleast I got FREE supper in return for coming to the rescue. Muahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaa

And I saw Zulhilmi !! seems like 7643532 years that I last saw him! still looking sweet and adorable as ever. "To Infinity and Beyond!!" yepyep, those were the glory days.. the days where Incredibles won during the Heroes Camp! Muahahahhaahaaaaaaaa k da cukop.

and then there was the mother.

all. of. a. sudden. she pops into my room and says that she will let me sew my own baju kurung. Shocking moment #101 right there. Oh, she also gave me that 'smile'. That "okk child, after you have finished your homework, you can take one cookie from the cookie jar and play outside with your friends for one hour" kinda smile. Freaky. When all this while, no, years, when I have been trying to convince her to teach me and all she said, every single time, was left-handers cant sew. Dont know what got into her but anyways, im liking it. Muahahahhahahaaahaaaaa

anyhoooos, all I can say to her was 0.-

Maybe its the swinging effects of menopause.

only God knows.

2008-09-02T22:32:00.003+08:00

This month sure is looking bright and happy. Too happy in fact that I somehow have this damnation feeling that its too good to be true. In some ways, things are looking up to be not what I expected it to few years ago. My cat, which we would not consider OUR own personal house cat because he rightfully belongs to someone else that apparently does not care for him anymore; is starting to become ~~defensive~~ jealous when a new feline visitor comes along.

Thats one thing. Theres been suppressed love in this house and too little affection shown for too long a period. Heck, the only love we've openly showered to is the cat! lucky chum.. and even he could not care two hoots bout the hugs and kisses. hahaa. But this month, I guess He has other plans for us. Cause dang, the house is filled with more laughter *insert Benson laughter* hahahahaha k stop it siakk. And it did not come from watching funny tv series as a family. Oh wow, I sincerely hope that things would be just wonderful on that one awaited day. hiakhiak.

And yea. some other things that popped up that I am honestly grateful for in my life but feel that I am not doing anything to retain it. Sooooooooo. I will do my very best and do whatever it takes to make this last. And its a promise on my part (:

And shiaat! never, in my life of being slow, have I been more slow-erer than today when this guy called to get my confirmation for the job. If I were to ever get this job and face him for three days, I would hang my head in between my legs, bring along a sharpshooter and shoot myself straight in my head if he ever brings up the embarrassing topic. Sooooooo. May I get this job. Amin.

2008-08-31T00:40:00.005+08:00

But, its so beautiful when the boy smiles.

Friday Teachers Day
JY is still the same as I thought it would be. The memories are still there though abit faded. But heck, its still there! hahhaa. But nothing is what you want it to be anymore now that all of us are going our separate ways. Wouldnt it be nice to gather everyone in the batch together again and just have another prom night? Wouldnt it be nice if all the sec 4s could get together when we're 20 and see what we've been up to? Wouldnt it be nice if the world was Cadbury? Bleargh. -.- This just goes to show the impossibility of the situation. Anyhoos, apologies to the class for going off early !

Friay afternoon
I love these damn irritating people who spent the day over at the house of yours truly doing nothing but slacking on the sofa and watching movies all day long i.e, rotting bebeh ! rot rot rot the fruitful way! all the way! no better way! than with your friends la deyy! nyahahahkz. oknext.

Saturday
Today. I made a small friend in the mrt . He talks alot. He didnt want me to leave. HAHA. He is only 5ish years old. I am NOT desperate. He is just this damn adorable little bugger and I cannot believe I had a real conversation with him and not baby talk -.-

Also today, a massive human traffic jam at the citylink stretch. cooool nak mampos cause like you experience this once in a lifetime! i know i sound so pfffft but whatever. and typical Singaporeans started taking out their IPHONES!! and snapsnap away. super jakon i tell you. every 5 secs there would be a flash from someone's camera -.- idiot. there we were, sweating from the free sauna and there you are, snapping our unglam faces away.

Ultimately, I cannot stop smiling today. to myself. to my cat. to the tv. even to the brother that pesters in the worse way possible. he finds it freaky. i loikee. then i should smile to him more often without any reason whatsoever. hiakhiak.

Sunday
Rot in the bustling streets of town and people-watch with aida; with snacks and stuff. I hope. Thats what I want to hope anyways. cause you will just never know what will happen when you least expect it. Heres the part where you start hoping they give out freebies on sundays, hailstorms starts coming down or paling best, a cute AND hot guy comes up to you to ask for your number. HAHA. which you would not give anyways cause you could not care less but heck, he still asked you didnt he?

and in this upcoming month of Ramadhan, may we all have patience with whatever obstacles that come our way. God loves those who are patient y'all. "Be patient, coz the prize at the end will be pleasant." Alright, and REFRAIN yourself from doing things we are not supposed to be doing in this holy month. Its only a month. and thats 4 weeks. only. Git Wit It !

2008-08-27T01:21:00.003+08:00

ok. ive got itchy fingers and a very fickle mind. SO WHAT ?! hiyakhiyak . soo i change my blogskin lorr~ dont like it ? then keep it to yourself since there is no tagboard for you to say so. aaww. soonsoon.

almost 2am and Im still up doing nothing. Though paper ended yesterday. YA muN' !
Still dont feel that sense of satisfaction cause I know I could have done way better and this motivational speech im saying is not helping at all because its all over anyways.
Nobody could find that rewind button that all of us are wishing for. All we can do now is, shout it out loud, prepare for the next battle, make the best out of that. and just breathe.

Omgg and the way teachers keep tabs on you is s-c-a-r-y yet irritating. They will check up on your studies secretly and I just KNOW that they will start talking about you behind your back to the respective module lecturers and discuss on the topic of 'you' . ok la . its not true and i dont know . but every time i lift my head up , the lecturers would be looking at you as if you're their topic of conversation . im paranoid this way . it could kill me one day i tell you .. TSK !

i feel no future by doing these papers . i dont feel you at all .

ok . the start of the rotting process would begin sooner or later . let us all prepare a few dvds , a couple of good reads and pins and needles. suhweet. my only saviour = meet ups with them all.

2008-08-18T22:28:00.003+08:00

Git Wit It, Grl .

Im supposed to be studying right now for two more papers that are apparently not striking my chords right now but should, or will be, significant in the near future but right now is the present and instead of studying, my mind, not me, wants to wander off right now instead.

And some of these questions keep coming up in my mind, its taking up most of my brain cells .
So, go figure .

1) If I were super clever like (____insert classmatess name_____) and etc, would I be studying right now?
2) Even if I was super clever and not mugging at the moment, what would I be doing? Watching the news or sleeping my ass off ?
3) If I were an animal, would I have been a cat and gone off with my current cat? (cos apparently HE is quite good-looking to me. Yes Aida. I found out my cat is a HE)
4) If I took art in sec 3, would my life have changed? For better or for worse?
5)I wonder what would happen if my studies really sucks damn bad? Skali I got no future then I have to resort to (___then i start imagining scary stuff____)

then from there I scare the shit out of myself, continue studying for awhile then go back to whatever it is that distracts. its really irritating i tell you. and it happens everyday its becoming a norm. or more like psycho therapy. and the questions are becoming more stupider as the papers go byyyy. its so annoying its not funny anymore .

oh, and today fpm's paper. the teacher was walking back and forth by us with the stack of test papers. and BOTH TIMES i was staring at the papers so hard and imagining myself to have x-ray visions. HAHAHHAHA alisa kental nak mamposssss full stop

for the record, I know the answer to point 2. They would either be sleeping or playing computer games. its alisa-proven. like a duuh thing among these smart kids. I tried playing spider solitaire, bejeweled and the ultimate-irritant-yet-addictive zuma but I keep losing so I still dont git.

ok , back to Heroes .